Journal

Showing posts with label cold [the extreme kind]. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cold [the extreme kind]. Show all posts
Thursday, December 09, 2010

The anatomy of snowbirds

It's not the walking the dogs I mind. I like walking the dogs.

What I mind, when the temperature is, as it is now, a hair below 0F (minus 18 C) is what I have to do in order to walk the dogs. The long underwear and the two sweaters I'm wearing anyway. The gloves and the ski suit and the big green clompy boots. The facemask and the big warm Uigur hat... I look like an incompetent Jewish Ninja.




Even working, down in my gazebo, when the temperature drops like this, with all the heaters on, I'll still be wearing a battered down jacket and a huge Doctor Who style scarf...



When I moved out to this part of the world, about 18 years ago, I noticed an odd phenomenon. Friends who were from here, who loved it, who were part of the life and scene and soul of Minneapolis would just announce, out of nowhere, that they were leaving, and they were done now. And they'd sell up and Go South. They'd always Go South.

That's odd, I thought. They're so happy here.

It seemed a bit sinister.

Today, walking the dogs, I sort of got it. Suddenly the oncoming cold, the idea that every time I would need to walk the dogs for the next three, perhaps the next five months, during the daylight...





or at night...





...that I'm going to have to suit up like a spaceman on a planet inimical to human life. Every single time. And I'm going to get to the point where I look forward to the temperature getting up to 0F, because you can breathe without it hurting, and you don't have to put on crazy protection to go outside, and the dogs still enjoy it outside at this temperature.

I thought, I bet the Caribbean's really nice this time of year.

And I shivered, under the snow-suit, in a way that had nothing to do with the cold, and I thought, I bet that's what they all thought. The people who Went South.

I do not believe that I am joining them. Not yet. But I definitely understood them.

...

The FAQ line is backed up. I've got several hundred questions marked. Let us try and get a few answered:

My wife Kestrell (she of the Delerium eyes) and I are going to visit New Orleans in a few months. She wants to visit the hat shop where you got your birthday/wedding top hat. Could you tell me the name?


It was Fleur de Paris (http://www.fleurdeparis.net). Terrific hats, lovely people, and Holly got a beautiful dress there, too. Amanda also bought dresses and such at Trashy Diva, which is much classier than the name sounds.

My top hat (and many of the other hats people bought while there, until by the end it looked like some kind of hat convention) came from Meyer the Hatter - http://www.meyerthehatter.com/meyer/. I really liked them -- not just good service, but after buying my hat (which they padded slightly to fit me) I went back with friends, and Sam Meyer, the owner took my hat back and replaced it with one that fit me exactly, as they'd had a delivery that day, and it was a matter of pride to him that my hat fit properly.

...

I have found a post in your archives addressing whether or not college is a necessary pre-req for aspiring authors, but I wanted to ask something a bit deeper than that. During high school I was widely known for my writing. I was granted a number of rewards (although insignificant; it was high school after all) and was voted Most Intellectual out of my +650 person senior class with a C average.

I am currently an unsatisfied student at Middle Tennessee State University considering dropping out after this semester. In college I have found myself completely withdrawn from my love of writing and, perhaps far worse, that of reading. I've not finished reading a book in nearly two months, I haven't learned a word or written anything I felt I liked in just as long and I've been dropped from my Expository Writing class after my professor, who supposedly favored me, sent me an email about my truancy. I am nearly twenty years old, I've never been published, I can't find a job and after seeing what it means to be a college professor, I no longer want to be that.

Out of my considering leaving school, I've lost much. Many of my friends and family members (including my mother) and my former mentor (a Latin and Mythology teacher from H.S.) have practically shunned me from their lives. My girlfriend dumped me because of it (though honestly I'm not very upset, but it's relevant) and I'll possibly be kicked out of my house if I go through with my decision.

My salvation from this is, and always has been, a story I have spent most of five years working on that I've fallen in love with, and I am confident it will do well as long as it is that love that continues to facilitate its manifestation.

I'm well-aware life will be more difficult without a degree, and I know you mentioned "if an editor likes page one, they will turn to page two" degree or not, but my question is. . .

Given those circumstances, would this decision be a wise one? Am I the lazy, presumptuous child who thinks he knows best? Or a misunderstood author walking his own path? Or even better, someone who knows he can sing his song with a voice (or pen) that will do it justice? (I've been re-reading Anansi Boys)

I've asked my professors; they remain objective to my situation. Since you're always kind enough to answer questions on this blog, and do the same to those who ask you questions in person, and because much of what I write involves using gods and mythology as metaphor, I thought I should ask you. I know full well you haven't all the answers, but I would be forever grateful for your opinion.

Regardless of whether you answer or not, you have my thanks for your time and I look forward to seeing American Gods on the silver screen.

-Levi


Should you drop out, or delay university? It sounds like you've already made your decision.

I find the idea of a writer losing interest in both writing and reading really sad. And beyond that, I think two things. One is that, as you say (and I've pointed out in the past) nobody's going to ask for your qualifications before they read your book.

Maybe you should do other things, or study other things, for a while. Go and be a journalist, or work your way around the world. Accumulate experiences that one day you'll write about. (There are few 20 year olds I'd advise to drop everything and become novelists.)

The other is that I'm glad this letter came in a couple of days after yours. It is, as Diane says, long. It's also fascinating.

Hi, Neil,

I’m sorry that this is going to be long, but it’s something that I’ve been thinking about for a long time.

From time to time you get letters from young writers wondering if they should go to college to study creative writing. You give them good advice about what it really takes to become a writer, but offer the caveat that, since you didn’t study creative writing, you can’t really tell them what a creative writing program will offer them. I’d like to offer my two cents and 20+ years of experience. I got my BA in creative writing in 1987 and just finished up an MFA in fiction this past year. I’m currently a teaching assistant for the class all undergrad writing majors have to take in order to graduate with a degree in creative writing.

First off, a lot of the instructors teaching creative writing in colleges and universities are doing so because they cannot support themselves as writers in any other way. Poets almost universally need to teach in order to practice their craft because there are no paying markets for poetry anymore. But a lot of other writers/professors in fiction are there because their work will not have a wide-spread audience. There are exceptions – Zadie Smith and Jane Smiley are two notable ones. Writing programs can sometimes attract established (ie; financially viable) writers to teach for a semester or two, but keeping them on as tenured (permanent) faculty is difficult because of the demands of teaching classes, reading applications, sitting on review panels, etc. It takes seven years to become a tenured faculty member. One of my own professors has just left teaching at the university because she signed a six-figure deal for her first novel. I don’t expect her to come back because
she doesn’t need to at this point, even though she is a phenomenal professor and liked teaching.

So, you have a teaching staff interested, above all, in the artistic integrity of the work they are producing. This is what they know, this is what they teach. One of the primary products of a creative writing program is not financially viable writers but creative writing teachers – for elementary and high schools, community colleges, and universities. There are exceptions! Lots of writers who graduate from Iowa and Texas or the Stegner Fellowship at Stanford and other revered programs (but usually the graduate programs, not the undergraduate ones) can use these credentials as selling points when they are looking for agents and publishers. The rest of us don't get a lot of street cred for having gone to school for creative writing and an undergrad degree doesn't get you very far because most don't require you to be accepted into a program of study. You take the classes, you get the degree, regardless of the quality of your work.

You can expect to learn a lot about craft in a creative writing program – how to develop characters, work on elements of narration, and, possibly, get some good feedback from other writers about your work. The dominant model for a writing program is the workshop where you distribute your story to everyone in your class, they read it, and come back the next week to critique it. Depending on the professor, this can be a valuable experience or it can be devastating. If you get class members who want to destroy any writer they see as competition for the title of “best in class,” the workshop can be quite destructive to a young writer who is just beginning to develop a sense of him or herself. Regardless of whether it’s a good workshop or not, you will be in a class with a lot of other writers who want to create ART and will scoff at anything that doesn’t have literary aspirations.

Creative writing programs will not teach you how to be a published writer. Talking about the business aspects of writing seems to be taboo in most programs. You will not learn how to assess writers’ guidelines, find publications that are looking for what you write, find an agent or, in anyway, make money from your writing. Though most writers do not make a living by writing, creative writing programs don't see themselves as needing to teach job skills. I think it’s because of this taboo most creative writing programs have a very strong bias against genre writing. Science fiction, fantasy, historical, romance, young adult (although there are starting to be programs specifically geared toward YA now) any writing you would not find in the “literature” section of the bookstore will be actively discouraged and, in some cases, forbidden in your classes.

I don’t understand the bias because there are so many fabulous “genre” stories that have become part of the literary canon – Brave New World, 1984, 100 Years of Solitude, just about anything written by Ursula LeGuin. Your work, too, Neil, is rapidly becoming part of the canon, as well. So I’m not sure why the bias exists in creative writing programs. There are exceptions, programs that support writers no matter what they write, but you have to search for them and ask the question, "Do you accept genre writing in your classes?"

As a young writer, I wrote a lot of science fiction and fantasy. I wrote a 200+ page fantasy novel when I was 13, and submitted stories to Asimov’s and other magazines before I stepped foot on a college campus. I had no question that I was going to study creative writing when I went to school, but, in my very first class, my professor laid down the law. She only wanted straight, literary fiction, no genre at all. This bias continued throughout my undergrad program, and, I think, resulted in my losing myself as a writer for several years after graduation. I had lost what I wanted to write and didn’t want to write what my professors had been looking for and praising.

I’m writing this because of an experience I’ve had with a professor for the past couple of months. I finished my MFA in fiction in May, but am a teaching assistant for an undergrad class for the fall semester. One of the students in the class has been writing a fantasy novel – quite good, in my opinion. About half-way through the semester, the professor started talking to the TA’s about “didn’t I say no genre in this class?” and how awful this student’s writing is. Myself and another TA have defended his work. We like it a lot. Last night, in our pre-class meeting, this professor told us she was thinking about having the students sign a contract at our last class meeting pledging not to write genre. One of her reasons: they’re too young to be writing genre. My internal response was: ‘Too young? Neil Gaiman was writing the Sandman stories in his 20’s and changed an entire industry. How are these students ‘too young’ to be writing genre?’ I talked to
this student after class, writer to writer, and told him, if she does this, to ignore her and not to take it to heart, no one has the right to tell a writer what to write.

I’m writing this because of the questions you get from young writers looking for advice about creative writing programs, and want to say, this is the kind of bias you will find in creative writing programs. If you can tuck your fantasy story away, work on it for yourself, and write realistic fiction for your classes, great, head to college for a degree in creative writing. It will be difficult for you to get any positive feedback on your work from your professors and your classmates, recognizing the way the wind blows, will soon hop on the critical bandwagon. In my experience, if you are looking for help to become a better writer, especially for genre fiction, the best thing you can do for yourself is to read a lot and write a lot. If you still want outside help, find writing workshops or a writers’ group and go to conferences and attend sessions by writers who talk about their craft. Save the college degree for an area that interests you, like history or psychology, that
will feed your writing with material you can use.

Thanks for listening,
Diane Glazman


Thank you for writing, and so exhaustively.

I think that if you want to write SF or Fantasy, you could do a hell of a lot worse than apply for Clarion. (http://clarionfoundation.wordpress.com/). I taught there a few years ago, and John Scalzi, who will be one of the instructors this year writes about it at http://whatever.scalzi.com/2010/12/02/clarion-submission-period-open/. Kat Howard, who was in my Clarion Year, blogged about it at http://strangeink.blogspot.com/2010/12/most-wonderful-time-of-year.html and if anyone's interested, they should read her blog.

I've not taught at Clarion West - http://www.clarionwest.org/ - but the instructor line up this year is amazing.

And here's a terrific round-up of all the SF/Fantasy writers' boot-camps and courses and such: http://www.johnjosephadams.com/2007/10/article-basic-training-for-writers/

...

The power just went out. Came back. Went off, came back, went off. And then came back.

When the power goes off in warm places, people do not worry about freezing, do they?

...

I'll be talking about Comics on TALK OF THE NATION tomorrow. Well, later today.

The Kevin Smith Smodcastle interview is 2/3 up right now; The first part is at http://smodcast.bandcamp.com/track/chapter-1-the-neil-amanda-interview
(That's the interview).


Any moment now, the last part will go up. That'll consist of me reading "Being an Experiment..." and enlisting Kevin and Amanda to help me read the Bilquis section of the first chapter of American Gods.
...

And finally, an article on Boing Boing about Cairo, not the one in Egypt but the one in Illinois, which has been on my mind a little recently from having been doing the Tenth Anniversary American Gods copy-editing. While I think Cory's description of it as a Ghost Town is exaggeration, things don't look good. And from this informative post I learned of the trouble people who wanted to start a punk coffee house there have had (it's now for sale).

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Friday, January 16, 2009

journeys end

Woke up after three hours sleep in a bed, convinced that I was still on the road, with Jonathan Coulton's song "The Future Soon" going around in my head. But I'm awake, and the day has started...

At one point yesterday evening I found myself talking on the hands-free-bluetoothy-practise-your-shouting-while-driving-phone to a friend who called to tell me he wanted to make me a bit-part murderous monstrous creature in his next movie. I have never killed anyone in a film before and realised at the moment I was asked that this is definitely one of those things I need to do before I die, so I said yes. (If anything ever comes of it I will report back here.) He was thrilled and I was thrilled. "This is the best possible conversation anyone could have," he said. "The only way it could be better is if we invented a new ice-cream flavour that everyone's been waiting for without realising it," I said, and waited for inspiration as to the nature of a new ice-cream flavour that would be nice and necessary to strike, but it didn't.

The first part of the drive contained some beautiful/scary moments: blowing snow turned roads into slow white rivers that would occasionally erupt into something like steam or smoke-whirls on Neptune, that blinded then glittered like mica or diamonds when it hit the sunlight. Sometimes the road writhed with white snow-snakes. I kept driving -- pulled the camera out once, when it got less scary somewhere in Northern Iowa (with windchill minus35) and took http://phodroid.com/a6y4w4.

Slept in car in a rest area in Metropolis Il., phoned in to a radio broadcast  (and now podcast) about, chiefly, the book Steve Jones did about the making of Coraline (the book, the film, the upcoming musical) while parked on the side of Lookout Mountain, which felt a bit American Gods. (The hour-long show is up at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/stations/AuthorsOnAir/TheBeyond/2009/01/15/A-Discussion-with-Neil-Gaiman-and-Stephen-Jones)

The best bit of the drive was that the dog (who is convalescing from hind knee surgery) was forced to just lie down and not do anything else for two days, which is very good for his leg.

Got to my destination about half-past midnight, covered in dog hair and smeared with cream-cheese from an early-morning attempt to give the dog his medicine that, in retrospect may have failed less because of the cream cheese and more because my hands were so numb with cold. Got on line. Learned that this blog was voted Best Literature Weblog in the 2008 Weblog Awards, and was pleased.   Even if it means I may now have to have a pie-eating competition with Jessa Crispin. (And I will now retire this blog from eligibility in future years.) (I just challenged her to sushi eating at Katsu next time I am in Chicago. She accepted. This could get really nasty.) Congratulations to all the winners, and to all the nominees.

Back at home, Maddy told me school was cancelled yesterday because with wind chill it was -50, and you cannot have kids waiting outside in those temperatures. My beekeeping partner has gone mad and started doing science experiments on YouTube.  Megan-from-Clarion-who-lives-in-San-Francisco who was in Minneapolis (and gave me a scarf she had made me, which became invaluable on the travels) told me she had  thought I was making up the so-cold-it'll-kill-you bits of American Gods, and had now learned that, no, I really wasn't...

Which reminds me:

Hello Neil!

Are you going to teach at Clarion again, anytime soon?

I am willing to bet that being accepted to Clarion is a one-time thing. Also, as much as I admire other artists in the field I would love to have you as a mentor. So if you are planning to attend Clarion as a mentor again, say next year, or the year after, I am willing to wait to submit until then.

Thank you so much!

-Ash M.B.


I don't know. Probably, but when in the decade ahead of us I cannot say, and whether it'll be Clarion or Clarion West next I do not know, and the instructors for Clarion are always world class (this years' includes Bob Crais, Kim Stanley Robinson, Liz Hand, Holly Black...) and you will learn different things from each of them. I enjoyed my week at Clarion a lot, and I think most of the students liked having me there, and I know I learned a great deal...

But I can promise you that waiting for me would be the wrong thing to do. If you want to do the astonishing writers' boot camp that is Clarion, start applying: head over to http://clarion.ucsd.edu/... there are less than 20 places and hundreds of applicants. The application period is open until March 1st. It Will, as they used to say on the covers of self-help paperbacks, Change Your Life, but that's because it's Clarion and you're going through it with another seventeen people over six weeks, and not because of a specific instructor. 

(And if any of you, in these parlous economic times, wish to support the arts, you might want to think about making a donation to the Clarion Foundation, which is what pays the scholarships that help some of the students to get there, and to eat while they're there, and keeps the program running...)

...

Much to my delight and bafflement, The Graveyard Book is now in its fifteenth straight week on the New York Times Bestseller list. And the noise around the Coraline movie means that Coraline the book is now selling enough copies that it may go back onto the list as well. This is really fun. 

Someone sent me a link to Charlaine Harris's blog entry for Jan 11th, and all I could do was think, yup, I know how that one goes

Sometimes I think that ideas float through the atmosphere like huge squishy pumpkins, waiting for heads to drop on. I remember back in 1989 Terry Pratchett and I plotting a novel once about a serial killer who kills serial killers, and we had most of the pieces in place, and then both of us realised we'd have to actually write it, which seemed like less fun than making it up, and so we left it.  I would have put him in the Serial Killer's convention in Sandman, but he just didn't fit. And I was pleased when I saw the Dexter books that that pumpkin had finally landed on the head of somebody else, who wanted to write them.  Sometimes you're just lucky that the pumpkin lands on you first.

But the truth is, it's not the idea, it's never the idea, it's always what you do with it. I remember Jonathan Carroll telling me to "Write it new", when we talked about how I had thrown out a whole Sandman storyline on reading Bones of the Moon. And I'm pleased I went back and wrote A Game of You.  Charlaine's Cemetery Girl, if she writes it and I hope she does, would be different in every way from The Graveyard Book, because that's how it works.
...


(A google shows me holding mine at http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2008/02/something-im-proud-of.html - isn't it a wonderful object?)

Hmm. That Google also threw up something else: many years ago, I decided not to look at my Wikipedia entry, because that way is madness, and given that, as the person involved I'm not actually allowed to change things, much as I would perhaps like to, I decided that it is best left unlooked-at. But every now and then a google search for something else gives me the first sentence of my Wikipedia entry and I read that my family came to England from the Netherlands in 1916, and it irritates. I really doubt that there was much cross-channel emigration in the middle of World War 1 for a start. (My paternal great-grandfather came to the UK before 1914; and he would have come from Antwerp, which isn't in the Netherlands now, and wasn't then. And I wonder why the paternal line is so privileged...)

And the strange thing is, that if I grumble about it here, then that gives someone editing the Wikipedia entry something to link to, and thus it will be fixed. Until someone finds a link to something that got it from Wikipedia in the first place, and changes it back.

...

The first bloggy people-who-were-there reviews of the Coraline film are starting to sneak out into the world...



And my linking to the Ain't it Cool ticket giveaway got a few people in to the Chicago screening, so if you act fast it might get you into a screening in Austin TX - http://www.aintitcool.com/node/39765

...

Just looked in mirror, and was suprised to find that after only two days of driving, unshaven, and with  barely any sleep, I look sort of like a homeless person. This is just wrong.  Luckily, I have a limping dog who thinks I am cool. SoI shall shave, and then drive off to stock up a larder with food, and find a car wash (for my car is thickly encrusted with salt), and call in the lettering corrections on Batman, and get on with my day.

Edit to add -- the day is ending and this still hasn't gone up on the LJ feed. If you're on LiveJournal and curious if I've written anything or not, you may want to check the actual blog at http://journal.neilgaiman.com/

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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Snowbirds

Cabal's left hind leg is shaved, and has a stitched-up incision. It's so cold outside that he's whimpering when I take him outside to pee; it's so cold outside that it hurts to breathe. And I'm way behind on deadlines. So I'm going to put him in the car and drive south, until I get somewhere it's warm enough for a sick dog and a grumpy author.

I think it's a good bet that I'll be off blogger, twitter, and probably even email for at least a few days.

In the meantime, a fully-browsable version of Coraline, for those of you who want to read the book before the movie comes out....




...and the School Library Journal has done an article on all the various versions of Coraline currently out there.

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In which I decide to spend the rest of my life in bed

The problem with deciding to lie in a downstairsy sort of a bed and do email, because your clothes are all upstairs and you know the halls and corridors between where you are and your clothes are going to be cold for it is minus ten F (that's -23 C) outside and this is an old house, is that the email does not stop coming in as you're doing it, and I'm about five days behind anyway, and I'm starting to realise that I will not catch up and the day will be done and I will still be here, warm in my makeshift bed, tapping away on email.

Lorraine just came by to tell me that the chestnuts I sprouted and planted in pots in the kitchen have started growing into small trees. My housekeeper followed her in to look at me in the puzzled sort of way you do when someone is in a bed that shouldn't really even be there at noon answering email. "I shall stay in bed for ever, answering email," I told them, amiably. "It's cold out there."

Neither of them seems even slightly fazed by this.

...

"Hold Me" -- Hellblazer 27 -- is written about at http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=19497. Weird Tales is now up to Brief Lives in its book-by-book Sandman reviews: http://weirdtales.net/wordpress/2009/01/13/recurring-dream-the-sandman-vol-vii-—-brief-lives/

There are now toy weeping angels.This seems right and proper. On the other hand, the Coraline stuff from Hardees/ Carl Jrs makes me feel like I've slipped into a strange alternate universe because it has nothing to do with me at all -- it just exists, and I kind of hope it will make kids happy, and that some of them may even be moved to find the book but... I dunno. Still processing that one. It's not bad. It just is. Then again, they have nice wallpapers and many useful things. Here's one with the shadow of the Other Mother in it...



It's nice down here in this seldom-visited room. I can see the Amano Dream Hunters centre spread painting and a Barry Windsor Smith Sandman drawing on the wall from where I'm lying, along with several Lisa Snellings statues.

Pretty soon now, I'm going to have to get up.


Neil,

I was very excited to hear that the Premiere for Coraline would be in Portland, OR. I was wondering when I'd be able to get my hands on tickets for the premiere? I'd really love to be the first to see it on my block.

Thank you for what you do,
Jason


What I do know is that the Coraline premiere is the opening night of the Portland International Film Festival. What I don't know is how you get tickets, although looking at the Film festival site, I suspect that you might have to become a "Director" with a $250 donation to get Opening and Closing night tickets. Or find someone who is already a donor and wants to scalp or give away their tickets. Or, possibly, keep an eye on local papers for any Coraline premiere ticket giveaway promotions...

Hi Neil,

Absolutely love your work. You mentioned in a post that you would be attending Portland's International Film Festival for the screening of Coraline. Will you be doing anything else while in Portland (signings and such)? It would be great to see you.

Thanks so much,
Jennifer D


It's possible but not likely, because Laika and Focus (who will be bringing me in for the Premiere) will probably already have packed my dance card with press interviews. If someone with power over my schedule while I'm there decides that what they really need is for me to give a talk or a signing, then it might happen. But you're more likely to get an autograph on the red carpet, I suspect.



As you wrote of the extinct Tasmanian Tigers awhile back, I thought this article might be of interest:

http://feeds.reuters.com/~r/reuters/scienceNews/~3/3OCag2wGq7c/idUSTRE50B72T20090112

Extinct Tasmanian "tiger" DNA has clues to demise

Ta,

Heather


Possibly, but I can't help feeling that declaring that they had to be wiped out, putting a bounty on each pelt, and then shooting them until there weren't any left had rather more to do with it.

Hi Neil,

whilst it's hard to imagine that you haven't been asked this before, I tried to find an answer in the FAQ section, but couldn't. How easy did you find it to move to America, as a UK citizen? I'm a writer, with two published short stories, currently working on a novel. I would love to move to New York in a few years. As a writer, did you find that a difficult thing to do? All the websites I look at suggest that the only way to manage it is to be one of those scarily specialised individuals, who can fill an existing gap in the labour market. Thanks for your time and of course, all the stories. Kind regards, Josie


It was 1992, I was married to an American, we already had two children, and most of my income came in from DC Comics. It was a bureaucratic and irritating process to get a Green Card, but not actually difficult.


How do you prefer your cup of tea?

Not Earl Grey. If it's a black, English breakfast-style tea, then made with boiling water and, once brewed, with cold milk added. If it's green, sencha, or something else, just with hot water.

Because there's a lot of honey around here these days (see beekeeping posts for details) if I use a sweetener it's honey, but usually I don't bother.

...

Lorraine just reappeared holding a plate. "Breakfast for today consists of lightly stir-fried oriental vegetables topped with an egg," she announced. "I presume sir will be taking his breakfast in bed...?" Apparently sarcasm works incredibly effectively to get me out of bed. In case you were wondering.

I sighed, got up and rejoined the world.

Email be blowed.


.....................
Edit to add: If anyone at LJ can solve the mystery of why it's suddenly taking somewhere between five and ten hours for the syndicated feed to appear on LJ, the webgoblin and I would be much obliged. In the old days the LJ synd was a good way to find out if I'd put code in that had broken the RSS feeder -- if it didn't show up, I had -- but now it just seems routinely to take forever.

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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Brass Monkeys and me

It's too bloody cold out there. It's going to be 29 below zero (F) tonight -- 35 below with windchill (which is minus 37 C). It hurts to walk down to the bottom of the garden to write, and it hurts to walk back.

I don't think I'm going to walk the dog much tonight.

(The Noodler Polar Black ink was a disappointment, BTW -- I didn't mind the odd smell, or the tendency to spider, but I do mind ink that seems to have dried that still smudges when you rest your hand on it a couple of hours later.)

Right. Back to Chapter Seven.

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Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Solid ink

It's cold here.


How cold is it?

It's so cold that when I went to refill my pen yesterday I discovered that the ink had gone solid. (It's dried out, I thought irrationally, before I realised, it's ice) and it took me half an hour to defrost it on a radiator.

It's so cold that when people (or large dogs) come inside from the outside, they radiate cold across the room. It's like opening a fridge door.

On the other hand, as of yesterday, the book is being written again, and this makes me happy.

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Monday, February 05, 2007

ice

Just had a rough couple of days -- some kind of virulent food poisoning, which was no fun. (I'm lucky in having the kind of doctor who makes house calls -- not the official kind, more the turning up during his lunch break to find out how I'm doing kind.) I'm over the worst of it but just getting better.

It went down to minus 21 F last night (minus 29 C)and I discovered that a slightly improvised area in the corner of the office, where a bunch of wires and cables -- mostly TV from the satellite, the DSL line, and something that I think is probably a Russian spy cable -- come in, were now, inside the office, in a warm room, covered in thick ice. I figured that was why the house network had gone down (as it had), but today I unplugged everything, then plugged everything back in (right up there with Turn It Off And Wait For A Bit in the handy list of things you can do to fix it yourself) and suddenly it worked like a charm. When things warm up I'll get the ice-wire area properly fixed and insulated. (Right now it's warmed up to minus 19 F outside.) (I chipped some of the ice off, then took a photograph. Ick, and brrr.)


Susan Henderson did an interesting interview with me, mostly about hair, decorated with many embarrassing photos from the photo albums over the years, all of me with unlikely hair. We're hoping to get one final photo before it goes live, of me as a teenage punk. (She announces it -- and has a couple of hitherto unseen and quite unlikely photos up -- at http://litpark.com/2007/02/05/question-of-the-week-hair).

I found this Nerve essay fascinating and wryly amusing in equal measure:

The Religious Right is correct on exactly two scores: virginity can be a big
deal, properly exploited; and what you read, listen to or watch can make a huge
difference in how you live your life. Conservatives are smart to get sexy movies
banned from Wal-Mart. I can believe kids shoot each other because of video
games. Wilco made me throw my live-in boyfriend out of the house when I was
twenty-two. And Sandman made me torture men for sport when I was fifteen.

http://www.nerve.com/personalessays/calhoun/godsofnewyork/index.asp?page=1

Talking about unintentional consequences, I recently spent an interested couple of hours browsing through my complementary copy of The Neil Gaiman Reader, edited by Darrell Schweitzer. Essays on things I've written, by a dozen different very smart people. I think it's probably a very good book of essays, but I am undoubtedly the last person on earth who can usefully comment on it, being, as I am, the least competent critic alive of the author in question. There were a few moments when I felt like the author being described had done something monstrously clever , but they always immediately balanced by moments where I sighed and thought "You may think I'm being very clever there, but I only wrote it like that because that was how it happened, and I wasn't being clever at all...".

The only thing I found frustrating, which I hope will be fixed in the next edition , were the little errors of fact, mistakes of date (Smoke and Mirrors was published in 1998, not 2001 as one essay claims-- it's correctly cited several times elsewhere in the book) or of artist (Dave McKean didn't draw The Doll's House, nor did Clive Barker produce it), and little typos that render it less reliable than it might otherwise be as work of academic reference.

Several people wrote to let me know that the Penn Jillette Googlebomb had worked as we were in the Google top ten, and several other people wrote to let me know that Google had changed their algorithm to stop Googlebombs... and given that the Google ranking of "Penn Jillette" here went up to #8 and then, within hours, vanished completely (and is apparently now down in the 300s -- although it's still riding really high on Yahoo) suggests that anti-Googlebomb activity might be the case. (I could always call My Son At Google, but he'd just take enormous pleasure in telling me that he's signed a confidentiality agreement and cannot possibly comment...) Be interesting to see if it climbs back up again now...

(My enormous thanks to everyone who posted the link. You are all troupers, and I am very grateful.)

I just learned that the audiobook of me reading FRAGILE THINGS was just nominated for an Audie Award (http://www.audiopub.org/files/public/Audies_Finalists_Release.pdf) which is extremely nice -- although I thought the audiobook of Stardust I recorded was better. Fat lot I know. (The unabridged audiobook I did of Neverwhere should come out in the autumn. Now, that one was work.)

I really like the House of Lords when they say things like this: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/6329851.stm

And I keep meaning to mention that if you order a copy the new special edition Last Unicorn DVD from the Conlan Press site, half the money goes to Peter Beagle, and your copy will be signed, as opposed to ordering it from anywhere else in which case it won't be signed by anyone, and Peter won't see a penny. http://www.conlanpress.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc

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