Tonight Live Streaming, and, hitherto unseen, a poem (unfinished)

Very quick blog...

Billings, Montana was WONDERFUL: I talked to a bunch of young people in the wonderful new library, read a little and answered many questions. I talked to people that night in the Babcock theatre, read a lot and answered fewer questions than I would have liked.

I was impressed by the future: I landed in Montana to discover that mysteriously my iPad had become a spiderweb of glass cracks, and not something I wanted to read from (or swipe my finger over). Leslie, my host, took me to Best Buy, where I got a new iPad and an army-tough case. I got back to the hotel, told the new iPad who I was, it immediately restored itself from the old one's last cloud backup, and a few minutes later I was doing a reading in the library, from a brand new iPad, without any work, sweating, cables or grumbles. Oh, I like the future sometimes.

Today, I'm in Calgary. The event tonight sold out minutes after it went onsale, but they will be livestreaming it: http://ucalgary.ca/cdwp/gaiman is the website, and it starts at 7:00pm Mountain Time.

Now I really need to decide what I'm going to do tonight. (Probably read.)

...

Yesterday I went through many notebooks and boxes and papers, looking for poems, for a project that I'll talk about when it's ready. I read stuff I wrote as a teenager, stuff I wrote while I was meant to be writing other things, found some forgotten treasures (none of them written when I was sixteen, I'm afraid: sorry, sixteen-year-old Me) and some unfinished things that actually looked like I ought to finish them.

And then, in a  small tub from the attic, on three folded up Byerly's cafe place mats I found this, a doggerel thing vaguely inspired by Robert W. Service or Kipling's ballads or somebody else. And I don't remember what was going to happen next, or what it was for, so I am simply putting it up here, on my blog, to make you smile. And because it doesn't have a title I'll call it...

Found on a placemat in the attic

It's kind of dead at Davey's when the clock hits three a.m.
And I know I didn't come here for the food
For I'm sipping something coffee-like that tastes a bit like phlegm
While I pick at cake that something might have chewed.



There's a bill upon the table for my unappealing fare
And a bored cashier is waiting by the till.
Then she takes my twenty dollars with a cool intriguing stare
like a kidney-surgeon waiting for the kill.



“You seem like much too nice a girl to work in such a dive.
It's the sort of place that turns your brain to rot.”
She just smiles and in a sullen voice more poisoned than alive
She tells a tale that turns my spine to snot.



“I have a fearful tale to tell, a bloody tragic lay,
A narrative of horror and of fear.
A story that will make you weep and turn your guts to clay,
before your braincells dribble out your ear.



“Mine is a dark biography, a thing of dread and fright,
A tale that reeks of terror and of woe.
There are not words,” she told me, “to do justice to my plight.
But what the hell,” she said, “I'll have a go.



“Nobody could envision it, it's nasty weird and strange.
Nobody could have dreamed, or said, or thunk.
And none who sit to hear my life will stand again unchanged.
(Some kill themselves, while others just get drunk.)



“I warn you now!” she raised her hand, “if you are faint of heart,
Leave now! Just flee! Get out! Go 'way! And shoo!
It's horrible and sordid. Stop me now, before I start,
for every loathsome word of it is true!”






(I honestly no longer remember what her story was, although elsewhere on the placemat is the couplet:



I can't get into Heaven, 'cos of all that I've done wrong
And I can't get into Hell because the lines are far too long.




Which may be a clue.)

Labels: Billings, Bits of it made me smile, Calgary, Not really poetry, poetry

Conjunctions.

It's National Poetry Day today. The theme is stars. Here's one by me, for you...

Conjunctions

Jupiter and Venus hung like grapes in the evening sky,

frozen and untwinkling,

You could have reached and up and picked them.

And the trout swam.

Snow muffled the world, silenced the dog,

silenced the wind...

The man said, I can show you the trout. He was

glad of the company. 

He reached into their tiny pool, rescued a dozen, one by one, 

sorting and choosing,

dividing the sheep from the goats of them.

And this was the miracle of the fishes,

that they were beautiful. Even when clubbed and gutted,

insides glittering like jewels. See this? he said, the trout heart

pulsed like a ruby in his hand. The kids love this. 

He put it down, and it kept beating.

The kids, they go wild for it.

He said, we feed the guts to the pigs. They're pets now,

They won't be killed. See? We saw,

huge as horses they loomed on the side of the hill.

And we walk through the world trailing trout hearts like dreams,

wondering if they imagine rivers, quiet summer days, 

fat foolish flies that hover or sit for a moment too long.

We should set them free, our trout and our metaphors:

You don't have to hit me over the head with it.

This is where you get to spill your guts.

You killed in there, tonight. 

He pulled her heart out. Look, you can see it there, still beating. He said,

See this? This is the bit the kids like best. This is what they come to see.

Just her heart, pulsing, on and on. It was so cold that night,

and the stars were all alone.

Just them and the moon in a luminous bruise of sky.

And this was the miracle of the fishes.

Labels: National Poetry Day, poetry

Strange Days

I was going to write a blog entry about Saints Oran and Columba. I've been reading lots of old, out-of-print books by Otta F. Swire about the legends of the Hebrides for no particular reason, other than I like her voice as an author and I like the stories she tells, and the tale of Oran and Columba got into my head. But then I was walking the dog last night and the rhythm of footsteps turned into

"When Saint Columba landed on the island of Iona..."

And I spent much of the rest of the night and this morning, when not proofreading STORIES (a collection of stories by the most amazing people, edited by me and by Al Sarrantonio, due out in June) writing a poem about Oran and Columba instead. Which nobody was waiting for. Instead of all the things they were and are waiting for.

But I felt as happy when I'd reached the end of the poem that nobody was waiting for as when I've finished something that everyone is checking their watches (or calendar) for. Small happy writer moments.

...

I don't have complete details yet on my travels in March. A lot of it's already up on Where's Neil

This one isn't, though:

http://www.nzfestival.nzpost.co.nz/writers-and-readers/once-upon-a-time
which is me and Margo Lanagan in conversation in Wellington on March 12th

I'll go from New Zealand to the Philippines:

Which reminds me.

Dear Mr. Gaiman,

I was most pleasantly surprised to find out that you're coming to the Philippines again.

As soon as I saw the poster announcing your visit, I immediately took the first opportunity to visit the nearest Fully Booked store. That 'visit' ended up just pissing me off, my apologies for the language.

See, I was informed by a salesman in Fully Booked that in order to get the opportunity to have my (a) book/s signed (I've collected your books over the years, but unfortunately, a number were destroyed by Ondoy, the storm that drowned Manila last year. Still, I consider us blessed that we're still alive.), I should purchase at least P2,000 worth of your books. I promptly retorted (poor guy, I didn't mean to be so blunt), "That sucks." To which he replied, "{gibberish, my mind was still reeling}... You can buy MORE thank P2,000, Ma'am." RIGHT. I'm a part-time instructor and a graduate student. That gives me a lot of leeway to spend for what I WANT.

This was last week, and honestly, I'm still pissed off by said requirement. However, I do understand it's a business. There are always expenses and what not such business/marketing considerations. I'm just about ready to resign myself to a 'next time.' The assumption is: I'd have a better-paying job next time, and I'm already done (or almost done) with graduate work. ;p

Still, I AM THANKFUL you come here. You're quite a popular author among Filipino readers (especially young Filipino readers {though I'm already 25, hehe}), and when you come here, inevitably, it promotes not only speculative fiction, or reading of such speculative fiction, but reading in general (which is a MIGHTY GOOD THING). I'm a big believer in reading, that's why I chose Reading Education as my major in graduate studies.

Last but not least, I AM VERY GRATEFUL that you come here because it makes us wee Filipino readers feel important. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that you'd actually come here. And yet you've already come here twice/thrice before! It's a wonderful feeling for us wee readers to be actively considered by an author of your calibre. So...long story short: For writing, for publishing your writing, for sharing your thoughts, and yourself...

THANK YOU.


Bem

I was a bit puzzled by this, as I'd heard originally that the signing spots were going to be raffled. (Last time we did an event in that tent I signed from 4 in the afternoon until past 1 in the morning, and that left about 2000 people with stuff still unsigned, so there was going to have to be a way of not signing for everyone and limiting the numbers.)

I checked with Jaime Diaz, from Fully Booked, who said,

I discussed the logistics behind the book signing with my management team and looked at all possible options, to see what was the best way to go about this. As you will only be signing for one session (in which we allocated 500 book signing passes as a limit), we felt that the best way to manage this is by giving a book signing pass for a minimum purchase worth of your books. At least this way, anyone who buys your books is guaranteed a book signing pass. Ideally, the best way to go about it would be to let anyone line up for free, but we all know that there would be literally thousands who'd get in line if we do it this way, and more people would be frustrated in the end if we go this route, as many would not get their books signed. On the awards night on March 17 in the Rockwell Tent, Fully Booked will be raffling off 100 signing passes among those who attend, and entrance to the event is free.

Which is his call. It's his event.

I'm going from the Philippines to Poland, where I will be doing a signing

On Monday March 22nd
17-17.40 Warsaw, Q&A sesion Empik Junior Marszalkowska Str.
18.00 Signing books, Empik Junior Marszalkowska Str

And I'll be going from there to Moscow. Assuming that I successfully get my Russian visa, anyway. It's my first ever trip to Russia, and I will be signing somewhere in Moscow on the 24th or 25th -- and as soon as I get details I will report them here.

And the details on this will be released as soon as we have them, but for now, if you are in the Chicago Area on April 17th, there will be an Evening With Neil Gaiman, the first since I did the Last Angel Tour a decade ago for the CBLDF.

Dear Mr. Gaiman.

Just wanted to write to say, I received my copy of the
Neverwhere Limited Edition today. Harper Collins did a beautiful job on the book. Wanted to thank you and
Harper Collins for finally making this edition a reality.
It will sit proudly with my other Gaiman penned limited editions.
Thanks again.
Sean

Hi, Neil. I just wanted to praise your editor. Jennifer Brehl went above and beyond the call of duty when I contacted her to make sure that I was getting my copy of the Neverwhere Limited Edition. My address had changed since I had initially ordered it through Hill House (I sent an email with the new address to Harper Collins a year ago, but my spider sense told me that it might not have made it into the proper database. Sure enough, it hadn't). Jennifer got in touch with me quickly after I called yesterday and is making sure that the book reaches me safe and sound. You surround yourself with absolutely terrific people, sir.

PS: I can't wait to read Neverwhere again!

I'm SO pleased. Jennifer Brehl, my editor at Harper Collins, did miracles to make the books happen and to make the people happy who had ordered the book over the years from the late Hill House Publishers. I don't know that she's managed to make everyone happy, but she did the impossible many times over.

Neil,
I don't know if you are aware of Wil Wheaton--although I highly suspect that you are--or the television program The Big Bang Theory. Either way, I ran across a post on Wil's blog (please find it below) that prominently features a paperback volume of The Sandman. It made me smile and I hope it brought you a smile as well.

Josh

http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbackup/2010/02/the-cooperhofstadter-coffee-table-proof.html

I saw. Maddy and I love The Big Bang Theory, and I'd already spotted Sandman paperbacks (and copies of the Absolute Sandman in Leonard's bedroom, which means that Johnny Galecki has been playing Sandman-reading characters since, I think, 1992. Which, if I could think of any actors who have played Sandman readers, would be some kind of record).

I was looking at bakerella (another favorite website) and she made Coraline cookies! They are very cute. I don't have the patience to make them, but she does.

http://www.bakerella.com/coraline-cookies/

They look wonderful.

Hello.

As a follower of yours on twitter I got to wondering the other day if you find that Twitter and all the other pointless internet distractions make you less productive as a writer. Do you think that back in the 80's and early 90's before the internet was even heard of you were more productive? Or does having the internet make you more productive, with the ease of research and stuff like that?

Just curious,
Ryan Long

I'm not sure. It's harder to get the time to do anything, but that has less to do with things like Twitter (which tends mostly to occur in the interstices between things) and more to do with, for example, the amount of email I get. I used to be able to reply to a day's email in 45 minutes in the morning, then blog for 45 minutes, and then start my day. Now I can get up, start doing email, and look around and find half a day has been eaten and I'm still not at the end. I miss the days when friends would send me novels to read and I would settle down and read them. Now they arrive as email attachments and I get a hunted look and mean well, and fail.

I want to translate/adapt your Neverwhere into Russian, transplanting it to the world of Moscow metro. I tried to contact both your agent and your assistant, but had no answer yet. What are the rules for an adaptation in a foreign language? Can I go ahead?
Thank you in advance.
Cheers.

I'm afraid that Neverwhere is already published in Russia, and people have already bought the rights to translate it and to publish it. http://www.neilgaiman.com/works/Books/Neverwhere/ed/313/ is the latest Russian edition.

Seeing that it looks like you want to do something creative, perhaps you should write an original book, and set it in Moscow, instead. Yes?

Hi,

I kind of stumbled upon your blog the other day and notied the pictures of your dog.
I'm always kind of touched by seeing such pictures because he looks al ot like mine.
Although I was pretty much annoyed by the fact that you called him a white 'german' shepherd. Your dog is actually a swiss white shepherd.
besides the fact that they are white, they are also build differently (compare hind legs/stance).
Futhermore I have to admit that I'm not really a 'fan' but that's just because I haven't read a book for the sole purpose of entertainment for about 20 years.
Do respect your craftmanship though, the fact that a certain 'Kate' puts a special interest in you is meaningful to me, so eh keep up the good work!

Regards,

Ydo

Um, right. (Casual readers: Skip the following dog breed neepery if there is any possibility you won't be interested. Trust me.)


According to everything I've read (which was on-line, and thus needs to be taken with a pinch of salt) the Swiss White Shepherd/ Berger Blanc (a breed named in 1992) is fundamentally the same as the American White Shepherd, White Alsatian, the White German Shepherd, Weisse Schäferhund and any other variants on German Shepherd Dogs that carry the gene for white coats.

Originally, some German Shepherds were white. It's a gene. It's in the bloodline. And then, per the Wikipedia entry:

White coats were made a disqualification in the German Shepherd Dog Club of Germany breed standard in 1933 after the breed club came under the control of the German Nazi party that took over all aspects of German society in February 1933 when Hitler declared a state of emergency. The German breed standard remained unchanged as German breeders repopulated the breed in the years after the conclusion of WWII.

It's not exactly graceful prose, but the facts are right. (Another article here.) And the German rules the Nazis put in gradually spread around the world, disqualifying white German Shepherds as being proper German Shepherds, which meant that they had to be something, and in 1992, the Swiss declared them a breed. Here's the official Berger Blanc Suisse history and standards: http://www.berger-blanc-international.com/english/standard347.htm And as we learn from http://www.wgsdca.org/thebreed/wgsdvsws.asp, you can elect in some dog shows to show your dog as a white shepherd or a white german shepherd. (I think. I've never done dog shows.)

Given that all that I can find out about Cabal's ancestry (not a lot) has him being an American White German Shepherd Dog from a long line of white German Shepherd dogs, none of which were bought in from Switzerland or from Berger Blanc breeders after 1992, I can't see how he could make claims to be a "Swiss" White Shepherd.

Personally, I think it very odd, defining a breed by coat colour anyway. It's as if someone decided that brown poodles weren't the same kind of dog as black poodles, but were actually Brown Poodles.

And with that, a plug for http://www.echodogs.org/dogs.htm which helps find homes for White (Something) Shepherd Dogs and http://www.petfinder.com which finds homes for pets and lets you know what kind of pets need adopting near you. And a suggestion that if any of you reading this are in need of a pet, you check with your local animal shelter first. There might be something living very close to you that needs a home.

Mr Neil?

If you did find you had to stop writing your blog for some unknown and terrible reason, could you publish it from the beginning as a paperback, so I could use it for bedtime reading?

I know the links and stuff would be no good but I've been meaning to read it right from the beginning and just don't get time to read it on the computer.

Just a thought.

Lots of love
Maggie (MotleyHippie)
x

Of course. Although it's worth pointing out that the first 50,000 words of the blog -- the American Gods blog -- is available in paperback in Adventures in the Dream Trade, along with a clutch of introductions and such: http://www.nesfa.org/press/Books/Gaiman.html

...

And finally, the really rather beautiful mainland Chinese cover to their forthcoming edition of The Graveyard Book.

Labels: Chinese edition, I am really going to Russia, poetry, Poland, The Graveyard Book, White German Shepherd Dogs etc

post interrupted

Let's see...

A quiet sort of day. Took Maddy to get her eyebrows waxed. ("I can do that," I told her. "We have candles." She properly ignored me.)

I went down to say hullo to the bees -- the Olga hive is busily growing two new queens, and it's nice seeing the Olga bees happily bustling around the two queen cells. With luck, one of them will leave her cell, go off on a successful mating flight and return to repopulate the hive and lead it on to glory.

See the two things that look like peanuts? Queen cells. The first one to hatch will despatch the unhatched with her stinger...

Right now, as I type this, Maddy and I are rewatching the Bad Wolf and Parting of the Ways episodes of Doctor Who, because Maddy wanted to be reminded of them, due to the end of Turn Left. (And saying more would be spoilers.)

Hey Neil,

I'm not only a big fan of yours, but also Jennifer DeGuzeman's of Slave Labor Graphics fame. She posted this:

http://blog.newsarama.com/2008/06/26/heaven-knows-im-miserable-now-3/

Also, it seems you left Holly out of her birthday post. Did you forget to say something about her?

Really, the best Holly Birthday post was http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2006/06/hmg.html.

And it was very nice meeting Jennifer, who came across as utterly self-assured and said lots of sensible things she has undoubtedly forgotten. And besides, it did smell like onion rings.

Hi Neil,

I was reading Amanda (Palmer)'s blog, and she said you were working with her on her solo record, Who Killed Amanda Palmer. I'm a huge fan of Amanda, and your writing, and I was wondering what your involvement was in it.

Thanks,

Corey

So far I've written the words that will turn up on the back cover of the CD, Who Killed Amanda Palmer? And I'm going to write the words for a book of photographs of Amanda Palmer having been killed.

Hi, Neil!
A bunch of my geek-girl friends and I have pulled together a calendar celebrating being both female and geeky. You seem like this might be something you'd want to support--if you want to plug it on your blog, we'd be very grateful! The website is http://www.calendargeeks.com.

~Julia

Consider it posted -- mostly because I liked the outside knitting picture.

No question, Neil -- just a link that will point you to what happens when the muses take hold of an English department, and focus their will upon the lowly subject of an errant red hand truck. Enjoy!
http://flagpole.com/Arts/Features/ParkHallPoesy/2008-06-18

Fun! Reminds me of some of the classic Making Light posts.

Bil Stiteler just pointed me at http://1post1der.blogspot.com/, a blog that collects blog posts from blogs that only have one entry.

Hi Neil!

I am a long time fan of your work, and I know I'm a bit behind, but I just finished reading Anansi Boys. It is an awesome read, and I found myself in awe of the subtlety of your literary skills.

I'm curious about the writing process of the characters in Anansi Boys, you being a Caucasian man and the majority of the characters are not. I am an African American woman, and in the majority of books I've read, you naturally assume the characters are Caucasian, as whenever a non-Caucasian comes into play, it is plainly stated, i.e. "He was a black guy... She was a Japanese woman," etc. I so admire how you wrote Anansi boys, because it was the exact reverse - the reader is to assume that all the characters are black, and the non-black people are pointed out. Even the minority authors I've read make a point of focusing on race, but Anansi Boys was so smooth and subtle, I was halfway through the book before I caught it. I just wanted to say thank you for telling a wonderful story, without getting caught up in the semantics of color. It has to be the first book where the main characters are black people, of different cultures, that is not placed in the "African American
Fiction" section of Borders.

Could you tell a bit about your writing process for Anansi Boys, or if you have already done so on your journal, could you direct me to the post?

Thank you, and many Blessings!

Brandi

Honestly, I think you've pretty much summed it up as well as I ever could. You can hear me talk about it at http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=91303720 or read what I had to say when the book came out at http://www.well.com/conf/inkwell.vue/topics/257/Neil-Gaiman-Anansi-Boys-page01.html#post22.


Hello! I have a question I couldn't find the answer to on your site or hardly anywhere else online. I have completed the third draft of a novel and got a lot of feedback saying it was good. However, I am in need of editing. Do you know how I can find good editors for hire? The reason why I want an editor is because I am concerned about being turned down for needing too much editing. I make some plural, punctuation, and some structural mistakes. I have no idea what the publishing world is like--Will a publisher turn down a manuscript with a good story, good writing, and solid arc if it had too many little errors per page?

I suspect that "too many little errors per page" means that the work is not going to be seen as "good writing". Amazing storytelling will triumph over a lot -- there was one bestselling author who wrote all her manuscripts with the shift key down -- but you need amazing storytelling to get to that point.

And while I don't know a lot about freelance editors, I feel confident in pointing to this Miss Snark post and its links and comments: http://misssnark.blogspot.com/2006/11/finding-editor.html

...

I was reminded at Boing Boing, there is no law against taking photos or filming in public places in the US or the UK. Something that law enforcement wannabes really need to remember: http://www.bakelblog.com/nobodys_business/2008/06/cops-bully-vide.html.

And here is Guillermo Del Toro talking about The Hobbit, Hellboy 2, and Death the High Cost of Living: http://www.collider.com/entertainment/interviews/article.asp?aid=8348&tcid=1.

...

And that was as far as I got last night because it was then that I discovered a fully-gorged deer tick on the side of my face, and got to investigate what happens next (your doctor appears and gives you 200mg of doxycycline, which works in 87% of cases to stop Lyme Disease from happening, is what).

And I've forgotten what else was going to be in last night's post, except that I know it was going to finish with a link to this post -- http://davepresslersculpting.blogspot.com/2008/06/no-comicon-for-this-year.html
and congratulations to Dave and Lisa.

Labels: amanda palmer, anansi boys, bees, do you need a freelance editor, Doctor Who, Guillermo Del Toro, lyme disease and its avoidance, poetry, queen cells

The Station

Jonathan Carroll sent me a wonderful poem by Li-Young Lee.

I did a search to see if it was on-line legitimately, and found it being read by him at http://www.blueflowerarts.com/li_audio2.html

(And a whole audio gallery of the agency's poets reading their own work at http://www.blueflowerarts.com/audio_gallery.html)

Labels: poetry, Web Serendipity

small poetry ponder

An odd moment of things that bounce off each other: This morning I read this New York Times article on the genetic make-up of the UK and Ireland, and thought, Sure, but I know that already... why do I know that? and then smiled, as I realised I was remembering a Kipling poem that said much the same thing to me as the article did, only it said it as poetry and as story.

The Kipling poem, The Land, is at http://whitewolf.newcastle.edu.au/words/authors/K/KiplingRudyard/verse/p3/land.html.

Labels: genetics, Kipling, poetry