Thursday, October 22, 2009

Jump into this here blanket what we are holding / And you will be all right

First, the official business:

  • The awesome Elyse Marshall asks that I remind you that the CBS Sunday Morning show, which is profiling Mr. G on 1 November, airs at different times across the country, so you should check your local listings. Also, 1 November marks the Daylight Savings transition, so everyone needs to remember to fall back accordingly!

  • The Graveyard Book Parties map is currently up to 30 stores! Two readers even wrote in alerting me to parties at book stores that had not notified me on their own.

  • Anyone holding their breath waiting to see if I would get an award for my mantle can exhale. The winners of the British Fantasy Awards 2009 were announced last month and the winner in the nonfiction category os Basil Copper: A Life in Books, by Basil Copper, ed. Stephen Jones (PS Publishing). I can't wait to read it, and I have it on good authority that Stephen Jones is a treasure. Congratulations to Copper and Jones!

On to the mailbag!

Nicholas D., from Denton, MD writes:
Who are you, please? I see you are filling in on the blogging for Mr. G, but ... that's all I can tell. Please, some background?

My apologies! I didn't even think about the fact that there are no doubt new readers since I filled in for Mr. G during his previous China trip last summer, and the introduction that I posted at that time.

I am the web goblin, Dan Guy. I keep the site running, update "Where's Neil" and "Neil's Work", and find ways to make Mr. G's web-whims a reality.

Marjorie T., from Broken Arrow, OK writes:
whatever happened to the mechanical Panda, and do we ever get updates on the Anteater we adopted for Mr Neil?

The RoboPanda last appeared in this blog over a year ago in an entry in which I posted pics and video of the presentation. It has not been heard from since, which may be partially my fault, as I never got around to sending the planned self-addressed stamped postcards home with it. Perhaps Mr. G, when he returns home, can give us an update, preferably in video form, and sung.

The last update I received from the Staten Island Zoo concerning the anteater was nine months ago:
Unfortunately, we did not raise enough money to buy the tamandua.
We were hoping to purchase an armadillo.
However, the animal we were getting got a highly communicable illness and we could not get him.

We are still searching. Will keep you posted.

I have emailed requesting an update.

Shmuel R., from Minot, ND writes:
Do you have any tips for the care and maintenance of waistcoats? I place no stock in the abilities of the local dry-cleaning emporium, and the servants are afraid to hazard a hand-wash ever since the unfortunate incident with the cheese.

To which I can only reply, good sir, that if you are storing or conveying -- or, dare I say, BOTH -- your unstable cheeses in your waistcoat then you are quite beyond my help. Never the less, I will add that nothing gets rid of dairy residue sunk into fabric like the collision of large hadrons.

Shawn G., from Sierra Vista, AZ writes:
Should I care about Differential Equations? Also, is the iCal still being updated, or should I not bother with it anymore?

On his death bed, my dear sainted great grandfather said to me something that I have never forgotten; he said, "Wait, we have an iCal?!?" No, seriously, we have an iCal? This is the first I've heard of it. The Where's Neil page and feed are still updated, though.

As for the other matter: yes.

Mr. Billy Bones, with whom some of you are doubtless familiar, writes:
What is your favorite answer?

I'm rather partial to "Yes." Many of the best experiences in my life have followed a "yes". (Look, I even used it in the question above!)

Though "42" is a good one too.

Tara G., from Portland, OR writes:
As a Web Goblin are you required to wear a specialized goblin costume while performing your web goblin duties?

Mr. G does not require that I wear a specialized goblin costume, but I feel remiss if I don't wear my goblin ears knit cap whenever I work on the site.

Melissah, from Ahoskie, NC writes:
How DO you maintain that wonderful figure?

Lactose intolerance, and a medically unsupported, hypochondriac suspicion that I have Crohn's Disease.

Karen B., from Boulder, CO writes:
Just curious how did you come to be Neil's web goblin?

Sheer force of will and biding my time. I'd like to think that being a polite, useful, trustworthy goblin also had something to do with it.

There are more questions in the mailbag, but I'm going to save the rest for now.

  • None of the above people are actually writing from the locations to which I have attributed them. Not so far as I know, at least.
  • The Legend of Neil is about a lot more than Zelda slash. There's also autoerotic asphyxiation.
  • The above disclaimer made more sense before I edited out the last question, my answer to which included the following paragraph:
    I mean, I am watching The Guild. Oh, and the other day I was googling for a particular legend that Mr. G had referenced and came across The Legend of Neil, which I assumed would be about Mr. G but instead involves Zelda fairysex slash with Felicia Day as the fairy. My disappointment was NONEXISTENT.
  • There was no blanket.

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