Wednesday, September 01, 2004

I am the Knight?

You know, when I read something like this...

A 6-foot-tall, 275-pound bearded man crashed a children's birthday party in Oak Forest, identified himself as "vengeance," then helped himself to a piece of cake, police said.

The incident occurred earlier this month at a home in the 14800 block of South Landings Lane in the south suburb, Deputy Police Chief Nick Sparacino said.

When the owner of the home asked the man who he was, the intruder replied, "I am vengeance. I am the knight. I am Batman." Then the man went into the kitchen, cut a piece of birthday cake, took it into the living room and ate it.

After continued questioning by the homeowner, the man left the house and drove off in a red 1988 Cadillac.

...I don't find myself wondering the obvious things (how do they know he's 275 lbs, wouldn't Batman be more likely to hunt down cake-stealers than to help himself to cake, etc etc etc). I don't even wonder about the "continued questioning by the homeowner" (probably questions like "how much do you weigh?" and "so what happened to the Batmobile then?"). No, I just keep wondering whether the mysterious stranger said, as reported, "I am the knight" or whether he actually said "I am the night". Bet it was the latter.


I've found some clothes to wear while MCing the Hugo Awards. Now I just need to figure out what I'm going to say. (Probably, given the length of the award ceremonies, the less the better.)
Yes, I'll be doing some other things at Worldcon. I'll put them up in a separate post.

Every day, for the last few days, the fax machine has extruded letters on Dave Sim's Aardvark Vanaheim stationary. These are mostly form letters to accompany the signed Cerebuses he's sending people, with occasional personal letters, but Dave is writing a completely different form letter every day (and a few people have sent me transcriptions of other form letters, so I know even I'm not getting the full set). They're very funny.

Here's a letter from someone who got a personal letter...

Dearest Mr. Gaiman, After receiving this reply by Mr. Sims: (please excuse the upsidedowness, we read while standing on our heads during yoga class whilst drinking a soy milk chai latte in California) I regret to inform you that you are no longer my "Most Favorite in the Whole Entire World". That honor has now been bestowed on Mr. Sims exclusively (at least for the next 24 hours). I hope that we can still remain friends and you shall always reside in a nice warm cozy place in my heart. Fondest regards,
Manuscript Winkelman

and if you stand on your head you can read it.

Nearly a thousand people have written real paper letters to Dave askng for a signed Sandman-parody Cerebus. It's possible that more of them have written than that, but that they did not know that it's a 60 cent stamp to Canada, not a 37 cent one. (Sorry.) Dave pointed out in some of the letters that when he did a 1000 shop mailing to comic stores he got just four replies back, so I think he's pleased by the response.

The how you can get your Free Cerebus info is at the bottom of this post. (And I've just realised that the version of that link in the previous post was broken. Sorry.)


Hi Neil, I have a question for your blog. When ever you talk about being on the road, and other times, you merntion your beard or facial hair. It seems when ever you post a picture of yourself from the road such as "here is me after 3 days" yoou look like a mountian man. How fast does your beard grow????Jocie (I know it's an odd question)

Yes, it is an odd question. But (shrugs) I can grow a pretty convincing beard in about a week of not shaving. It grows pretty fast. (So does my hair, which is why I mostly look like a mop, and will be getting Wendy at Hair Police to make it look less mop-like before I fly to Boston tomorrow.)

Neil, Any advice on doing my first public book reading/signing?I'm figuring an old bit, a bit from the current book, and something a bit more recent is the way to go. That and I'm having it in a bar, so the audience will have a chance to get liquored up before I go on, which can only make me funnier.Other than your accent, which I can't do, what works well for you?-Todd Allen

Start with something funny, and don't outstay your welcome.

Have fun with it (that way, at least one person will be enjoying it). And make sure they can hear you.

Bad readings tend to be a) dull b) inaudible and c) interminable. If you can avoid these crimes against the audience, you're most of the way there. Don't gabble. Breathe. Answer questions if people have any. And stop while they're still enjoying themselves.

Let me know how it goes.

This is a helpful one...

In your blog entry of August 29, you used the word 'tulpa'. I was confused. My dictionary dumbfounded. Google, however, was both overassertive and (uncharacteristically) forthright: This link ""might help people like me, who read your blog but were nevertheless confused. The dictionaries are on their,ralf

and, finally, a beautiful one...

Hi. I have finally got around to putting my Snow, Glass, Apples project onto my website.

If you are at all interested in seeing my photographic interpretations of your short story please feel free to have a look at the link below which will take you to the images. will be graduating with a HND in photography on the 10th of September.

My Snow, Glass, Apples images were my final major project for the HND course, I hope you'll be pleased to learn that I received a distinction for them and I'd also like to thank you for your unwitting help in my obtaining my qualification.
Yours GratefullyJoanne EarpBirmingham UK

You're very welcome.