In the past five weeks of guest-blogging here, I have said a few things, often in jest, here and in emails, that might have been misinterpreted or misunderstood. With that in mind, I'd like to offer the following retractions:
- My book, The Very Naughty Dragon Magician, will not be coming out this spring. It will be released next fall.
- The Discount Anteater does not have a drooling problem. He has typhoid.
- I have the strength to recognize that I do, in fact, know how to let you go.
- I did not, in fact, kill Amanda Palmer. Ben Folds did.
- I am not scared for this world or for me.
- Mr. G did not go to China to kidnap a panda, but to put the torch to J.K. Rowling's extensive opium fields.
- I have no plans to try not to breathe. These eyes are not the eyes of the old. I did try to burden you; I did not hold these things inside. I tried to worry you.
- That was, in fact, my beautiful house.
- The missing persons post was not, in fact, a trailhead and it was in very poor taste to imply to the Hon brothers that it might be.
- I struck that picture no more than a handful of times, nowhere near ninety.
- Despite sweetly urging the original trespass, I didn't actually want you to give me my sin back; I just wanted to kiss you again.
- There was no benefit of ill. I did not find that better was by evil still made better, nor that ruined love, when built anew, grows fairer than at first, more strong, far greater. I was not rebuked to my content, nor gained by ills thrice more than I had spent. If anything it was more of a loss of five times the spending.
- There will, in fact, be cake. Delicious, moist, gluten-free cake.
Hmmm. I think a few of those retractions were to personal emails. And to songs I sang in the shower. Ah well.
Things I meant to do during my time here but either never got around to or otherwise failed to do:
- pick a mock-fight with John Scalzi
- write a post completely in rhyming couplets
- find a way to slip in "so I herd you like mudkips"
- get the Fabulous Lorraine to write a guest post
- say something worthy of noting in The Beat
Your final goblin tab closings:
- I have added links to the five Coraline featurettes to the Video Clips page.
- Eoin Colfer has been commissioned to write a sixth instalment of the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy series. I don't know how Mr. G feels about this, but my immediate response is: Oh bitchcakes.
- Colleen Doran is auctioning off another page of original Sandman art from A Game of You.
For those of you coming to the Library of Congress National Book Festival, don't forget to wear a black carnation in your buttonhole and/or a feather in your hat! I completely forgot to order either, am not a hat person, and probably won't be wearing anything with buttons, so will be sporting neither, but I hope that the rest of you show greater initiative.
For the interested, I am planning to continue blogging at webgoblin.livejournal.com (feed), though I may take a short rest first.
Labels: a joke that only ARG players will get, honestly who didn't kill Amanda Palmer at this point, my only friend the end, wherever there's trouble I'll be there on the double