Where I'll be signing ANANSI BOYS in the US

I'm home. Waiting for me were: one (numbered) ANANSI BOYS bound proof (#1 of 450) -- it's not really even a bound galley, it was printed from my raw manuscript and is filled with odd typos; about a dozen copies of the ANANSI BOYS first chapter extract booklet-thing the publisher did for Book Expo (it has a drawing of a seven-legged spider I did on the front); and some ANANSI BOYS pamphlets.

The pamphlets contain information for the booksellers, and they list, in the details of the marketing campaign, the 16 US and Canada tour I'm going to be doing, starting on September the 20th and ending around Oct 12th. (The pamphlets also have a picture of me on the cover and FALL UNDER HIS SPELL in huge letters and are thus deeply embarrassing, so it's probably a good thing that I didn't see them first.)

Anyway, according to the pamphlet, I'll be signing (in Alphabetical Order) in Austin, Boston, Charlotte, Chicago, Denver, Los Angeles, Minneapolis, New York City, Portland (OR), San Diego, San Francisco, Seattle, Toronto, Vancouver, Victoria and Washington DC.

If where you live isn't on the list, I'm really sorry. I don't pick the locations -- it's done by Harper Collins and tends to be weighted towards a) bookshops that report to the New York Times, and b) places that put in proposals for signings that Harper liked. (Which then tends to be weighted further towards places that I've signed before because they know what to expect and put in proposals that assume they'll be getting several hundred people and that they know what to do with them.) I'm certain that the San Francisco signing is actually a few different Bay Area signings, and have my fingers crossed that Harper Canada aren't going to make me go back to whatever the place was I signed in Vancouver last time (I'm pretty sure it was a Virgin megastore) where I tried to use the microphone and discovered that I was speaking over the store's Public Address system, which couldn't actually be heard in the place they'd put the reading.

I don't know actual store locations yet, although I should get a list very soon, and will post it here and on Where's Neil as soon as I do.

More proud but bemused fatherhood

So, I'm the father of a graduate. ("Okay, Dad. This is the deal. You've got six years to get an honorary doctorate from somewhere. You can't get it from anywhere that I'm studying, and you can't get it when I actually graduate anything, as you have to be there.")

Mike's also taught me to use the text-message-to-google trick, which suddenly started making life easier, finding restaurants and films and meeting places. If you use text messages, it's an astonishingly useful thing to have at your fingertips when you're, for example, in a cab and quite lost. http://www.google.com/sms/howtouse.html is the link. (I tried it back when they rolled out the feature, it didn't work well, and I forgot about it. In the meantime, they got the bugs out. Now, after two days, it's become invaluable.)

Maddy, meanwhile, has learned to do a rimshot- Good evening and welcome to the Maddy Gaiman show! And now... the moment you've all been waiting for... (drumroll please)......MADDY GAIMAN!!!!! "Thank you, thank you, thank you very much. I want to thank everyone for coming tonight! But I must bid you goodnight. So, now, before it gets to, like, two in the morning let's hear sports from Neil Gaiman"- (Sorry about that. She got to type while I went off and sang a goodnight "The Teddy Bears' Picnic" to Holly, which is something I always keep expecting her to grow out of and am always oddly relieved she hasn't.) Anyway, Maddy has now mastered the rimshot. With chopsticks as drumsticks. She spent this evening's meal telling bad jokes ("Little Old Lady Who?" "I didn't know you could yodel!") and then giving herself a rimshot (ba-dum-tink) with the chopsticks, table and glassware. It was funnier than it sounds. Which meant that tonight's dinner at one point consisted of me trying to explain my theory to Mike and his friends that people could become Spamomancers and foretell the future by what kind of spam they'd received from Persecution H. Foisting or Flange X. Innuendo that morning, while Maddy did told jokes and rimshots and Holly and Mary were down at the other end of the table trying to have a sensible conversation...

What was the title of that comic you did on the mudrder mystries that was to do with angels? I'm asking because I read it once and since then i cant find it anywhere. Mainly because I don't remember the name.

"Murder Mysteries".

Since you often mention "libraries under siege" articles, I thought this one, about the Las Vegas libraries, might be of interest. http://www.lasvegassun.com/sunbin/stories/sun/2005/may/20/518789934.html What's particularly irritating is that it's not a story of a kid who came to a library on his own and checked out adult material. It's a kid who came to the library with his grandmother, showed his grandmother an adult anime video from the library's adult collection that was labeled as suitable for audiences 17 and up. Together, the boy and his grandmother checked the video out, and it wasn't until they got home, and the grandmother saw scenes of graphic violence and sexuality that she looked at the box and saw that it indicated that it was inappropriate for children. And still, somehow, the library is apparently at fault for, well, not just assuming that the woman was not doing her job as the boy's guardian. And then the newspaper runs this editorial, and the story got picked up by the local TV news, because "Library Porn" makes a better headline than "Local grandmother can't be bothered to pay attention to what her grandson is watching, even when she's with him."

and Bill Massolia sends this link to another review of Stardust -- http://www.dailysouthtown.com/southtown/tgif/201tgthe.htm

and he mentions that there will be an NPR review this Friday with clips.

and

Hey Neil, I'm really sorry to have to bother you about this but I kind of need the fan-made clip where you're reading this - 'I slept for about ten minutes, then woke up from a strange and haunting dream, in which darkness had come to the world, a strange blackness from Outside. I was riding in a train through a desolate landscape. No people anywhere. Buildings stood, and leafless trees, but the colours were wrong and the sky was dark grey.... yadda yadda... world, which darkened slowly and terrifyingly to complete blackness... ' in the background. I just spent around 2 hours searching it with no avail.. T_T Could only find the link to your post on the 19th of September 2002. Sorry, and if you could help me locate the link it will be very very helpful indeed.

Steph

Sure. It's at http://www.thedreamproject.org/
and was a brainchild of the excellent Olga Nunes.

A break from copy-editing

I got to watch while Mike graduated last night, and it was really rather a wonderful thing to see. It's odd to think that his entire college education has occurred since I've been keeping this blog, something that only occurred to me when Holly mentioned last night that when Mike graduated from High School, she came in to check what I'd written in my journal and helpfully closed the window on the screen containing a long and heartfelt post that had not yet been published. (It's on Sunday June 3rd at http://www.neilgaiman.com/archive/2001_06_01_archive.asp)

So...

On the Robert Sheckley front. What seems to have happened is:

Bob got extremely -- dangerously -- ill in the Ukraine.

The convention that brought him in checked him into a private hospital. (Bob apparently bought insurance in order to get his visa but could not find the card while his lungs were collapsing, nor has it surfaced since.)

This was a good thing, as he would have died otherwise. He needed to be put on a ventilator in order to breathe.

The convention managed to cover the first hospital bill, but they couldn't cover the second. (Nobody expected him to be that ill for that long or that expensively.)

A family friend, and Bob's daughter Anya, are out in Kiev.

Now he needs to be brought home and hospitalised in the US.

Berry Sizemore, who runs the Mike Moorcock website, has offered to help by setting up a PayPal account.

In Russia, Robert Sheckley is still one of the most-read and most-respected of American writers (proving that the Russians have excellent taste in SF writers), which means that this is turning into big news.

Once he gets home, the family is still going to have to raise money for his US hospitalisation.

There's information over at: http://www.multiverse.org/postp40822.html#40822

(and the paypal account at Robert Sheckley Relief Fund (Note, the content of this link has changed to Anya's account.)


...

Peter Sanderson has written about the MirrorMask book at

http://comics.ign.com/articles/617/617904p1.html -- it's a really interesting article. My only response to his occasional wonders of "or am I reading too much into it...?" is No, he's not.

...

I learned about this Guardian interview with Terry Gilliam over at The Dreaming. http://film.guardian.co.uk/cannes2005/story/0,15927,1485600,00.html
Sometimes when I tell people why the Terry Gilliam/Johnny Depp Good Omens rolled over and died (with $45m raised from the rest of the world, Terry went out to Hollywood to find out which studio was going to pay $15m for a $60m Terry Gilliam film, and found that none of them were) they look at me as if I'm making things up again. It's nice to see Terry explaining it.

...

More reviews of Stardust the stage play...

This is from the Chicago Tribune.

And Bill Massolia (who adapted it) writes to tell me that the production of STARDUST in Chicago has been nominated for the Joseph Jefferson
Awards. That is Chicago's equivalent of New York's Tony Awards. The awards are
not given out for some time but I wanted to let you know.

...

Someone asked about "proud as punch" -- http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-ple1.htm

...

Kimberly Butler has put one of her wolfish photos of me from last year (although without the weird photoshopped eyes) up on her revamped website, but I'm not going to link to it directly because if I did you might not look at the Ray Bradbury photos she's got up, which are two of the most joyous photos I think I've ever seen. http://www.kimberlybutler.com/Portfolios/Celebrities/index_A3.html (I'm at the bottom right.)

And before I go, a small wonder about http://www.theconservativevoice.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=5755. Why would anyone transcribe the phrase "all absolutely cock-a-hoop" as "all absolutely @#%#*-a-hoop" I mean, it comes from the phrase to set cock on hoop, to drink festively. You'd need to be an extremely conservative voice to want to give the impression that George Galloway had suddenly been overcome with an attach of Tourette's while testifying...

Right. Maddy says she needs the computer. I'm back to copy-editing.

Prouder than Punch

I'm in Washington DC to see Mike graduate. He's 21, taller and better-looking than me, and he knows more about computers than I'll ever know. The whole family are together for the first time since Xmas, and it's rather wonderful. I shall wear the Hungarian waiter's jacket I found in Aardvarks on Melrose, and I shall be prouder than Punch.

Sheckley Update

To answer the people from Russia who wrote to me concerned that the Robert Sheckley medical appeal going on there was a scam, I just got this from Alisa Kwitney (Bob's daughter):

Yes, Boris is working with Anya, my half sister, and Simon, an old family friend, and they are trying to raise money to pay for his lengthy hospital stay. Bob became ill when on an SF convention in Kiev and was put in the hospital, where he has been on a ventilator. His situation is improving, but there is a long, hard road ahead to recovery. He really wants to come home. Right now, it looks as though there is a possibility that the Consulate may help bring Bob over, but as I understand, that will be a loan from the gov't. And once here, Bob will need a lot of medical care and rehabilitation.

So, no, it's not a scam. I'm not sure why no-one's trying to raise money outside of Russia. If an authorised appeal starts, I'll happily link to it.

cows and crows and doing the SF trifecta

I'm copyediting ANANSI BOYS at present. This mostly consists of either nodding or of scribbling "Stet" in the margins (meaning "leave it as I wrote it"). Mostly the copyeditor has worked hard to make me look good.

Every now and again, I'll use google to check things. For example a paragraph like,
In Mrs Dunwiddy's house there was pine-scented hard toilet paper. Mrs Dunwiddy believed in economy, and pine-scented hard toilet paper was at the bottom of her economy drive. You could still get hard toilet paper, if you looked long enough and were prepared to pay more for it.

And then I'll wonder whether you can still get hard toilet paper, and find myself reading an article in the Daily Telegraph about the eighteen-year long battle the British Civil Service waged in order to be allowed soft toilet paper, and also establish that, yes, you can get hard toilet paper if you try hard enough.

I'm practically well, but now Lorraine-my-assistant seems to have gone down with the plague.

The inability to tell porno films from foreign films may cause interesting apologies from the New York Times, but my favourite correction of recent months is still the Observer's inability to tell the difference between a cow and a crow. (If they'd just left it as "cow" most readers would simply have assumed that there was a missing "r" -- but then someone decided that "heifer" was a better word than "cow", and it all got very silly.)

The Locus Awards nominees are out -- http://www.locusmag.com/2005/News/05_LocusFinalists.html -- I was hugely pleased to see that I've got a short story listed, but don't honestly think it deserves to win, given the competition. (An excellent list of stuff to read on those lists, though.)

Discovered last night that Nokia has piles of interesting software for the 6320 (which is my phone). They have software to turn the face into an analog clock. They have software to turn it into a flashlight (and even, if I understood it correctly, a mirror). All sorts of fun-looking things, which they will happily send to your phone for a small fee as long as you don't happen to have an American phone number... Now wondering whether it's worth bothering to install them when I go to the UK next and stick in the English SIM card.

An email conversation with GMZoe uncovered the fact that I'm a planet in Star Wars, a character in Star Trek and a race of aliens in Babylon 5. It's the first time I've ever truly felt like the answer to a trivia question.

Hi, Neil. A friend of mine is an English Lit professor and she's preparing a lesson on the use of metanarratives. She asked me if I knew of any good examples of metanarrative in comics or graphic novels. I assumed there was a good chance this could be found in some of your work, but I've drawn a blank.Any help? Thanks, Jeremy Bear

Well, there was the story in Batman: Black and White. And I've seen several papers over the years arguing either that the whole of Sandman is a metanarrative, or (more successfully) that The Kindly Ones is a metanarrative.

Several writers commented on the Star Times Stardust review...

Neil! Finally my faith in myself as a writer has been restored.The review of the Stardust play calls the story "slight but charming". When I was at school (the last time I had much feedback on my creative writing) my teacher used to infuriate me by writing "Charming but slight" or "Slight but charming" on every story I wrote.I may say, if "Stardust" is slight, then I'm very happy to be. Though that is not a word I would have associated with it. Charming, yes. Nimble, magical and frightening, too. And lovely, dark and deep.

and

After reading the Chicago Sun Times review of Stardust I am curious as to what you reaction was to the comment that it is a "slight but charming fairy tale"? I realize that everyone is entitled to their opinion of an author's work but I'm really at a loss as to what she might mean by the term "slight". Dictionary.com defines "slight" as "of small importance. Lacking strength, substance, or solidity". None of these definitions seems appropriate for Stardust. It is a fairy tale with very rich, detailed characters who have history and depth to them. The tale is quite strong, is substantial, and is a very solid, well-written tale. To me the reviewer uses her opening paragraph to insult both you and the readers who consider this novel to be one of their favorites. Enough of my ranting, however, I was just curious.

It didn't bother me -- I think it's a Chicago house style thing. I remember when there was a Chicago theatrical adaptation of Signal to Noise, some years ago, being puzzled by the reviewer explaining that the comic-book foolishness of Neil Gaiman had been elevated by the theatrical adapters, but then he pointed to something that had been added by the adapters as the "comic book" silliness he meant, and something original from the graphic novel as the kind of thing that the adapters had brought to it, and I realised the reviewer was faking the whole thing.

(I was, however, amused that the book was "slight" in the first paragraph, but that the play was created by "chipping away the excess" of the book in the fifth paragraph. It's an achievement, being both slight and excessive at the same time, especially in a 55,000 word book.)

But honestly, I'm just pleased that the play is getting good reviews.

Dear Neil, I thought this might be interesting for you and maybe for the readers of your journal. It certainly would be very interesting for me to hear your opinion on this :).
Anyway,you sure know about Robert Sheckley's illness and that though his condition is improving he must stay in hospital for several more weeks. I read through some russian sci-fi sites just an hour ago and discovered that Robert apparently lost his travel insurance card (not sure if it was a card, though), so the sci-fi fans in Russia/Ukraine are raising funds to pay for his medical treatment (and they seem to have some trouble in covering all the medical costs). There's currently a discussion on Boris Sidyuk's blog whether Robert really needs all this help or if it's just a clever trick to rob credulous people of their money (some say that Robert spends most of his money on travelling and doesn't have much to begin with, others say it just can't be that an acclaimed writer from America of all things wouldn't have some financial backup for such emergencies). So what do you think about this - do we have to worry about this kind of problems at all, how come there are still poor american writers in this world and why is it so that nobody outside the russian sci-fi internet community seems to know about Robert's situation? sincerely, Maria (a russian girl currently living in Germany, so please don't pay attention to my grammar :) )

I can assure you that the majority of acclaimed writers from the US mostly don't have medical insurance in place. It's why the SFWA has a medical emergencies fund, why the Writers Guild has so many hardship funds. (I'm fortunate in having my Medical Insurance covered by the Writer's Guild, but that's from my movie work.) Getting sick a long way from home is almost always a dangerous and financially draining proposition.

I don't know if the Russian Sheckley Appeal is on the level, and I've e-mailed Alisa Kwitney to ask. But I know that it's certainly not unlikely that Bob might need financial help to get out of hospital and to get home (as I understand it from Alisa's last email, he may also need a doctor to accompany him home) so if we have to help raise money for his medical expenses, that's infinitely preferable to needing funeral expenses). Does that help?

Goodness!

Good morning. I think I'm emerging from a lemon-and-honey flavoured gloom back into the daylight. I have things to write. Things to finish. Things to copyedit. And it's time to hang up my dressing gown (bathrobe if you're American) and go and see if I have pair of jeans anywhere and possibly a black tee shirt. (I wound up with a subscription at http://www.blacksocks.com/ so I know I have socks.)

So while many people let me know that also had missed out on hearing anyone actually say "goodness" -- e.g. In re: "cor" May I suggest an English-to-American translation of "Jeez," (or, less precisely, "Wow,") since, as you say, I've never heard anyone actually say "Goodness." -- Susan Ramsey, Kalamazoo -- there were also a number of correspondents who pointed out that, Possibly you haven't hung around with enough Southerners. My mother used to say that (she grew up in middle Georgia during the Depression) and I sometimes say it as a form of slightly sarcastic understatement or Southern-esque subtext; that is, instead of cussing, or when there's really no other response to make. Certain inflections of "Goodness!" can mean "Are you sure you haven't just developed a large hole in your head?" I'm not the only person my age (37) who does this, either; but we are a dwindling tribe.

I'm not sure that any inflections of "Cor" could mean that. But I could be wrong. I know people who can use the word "dude" to mean anything.

Meanwhile, a dilemma:

Hi Neil My well-meaning husband has unintentionally placed me in a very painful dilemma. Last night, he came home and proudly handed me the new Mirrormask script book which he had picked up as soon as he saw it in the bookstore. It looks amazing and I'm DYING to read it but I don't want to ruin the movie itself. Any advice? Should I hide it at the top of a cupboard until I've seen the movie or rip through it and spoil everything like I'm dying to do...? Help please! Maria

I don't know. On the one hand, speaking as someone who wrote it, I had no idea what the story would look like once Dave put it up on the screen; and I ran into a number of people at Sundance who went back to see it again because they'd missed plot stuff because they were too busy watching what was happening on the screen.

On the other hand, if you want to know nothing about MirrorMask before you see it, you're better off hiding the book at the top of a cupboard.

Either way, your husband did the right thing -- given the limited space of bookshops and the weirdness of publishing and the problems inherent in going back to press with big illustrated books, there's no guarantee that you'll be able to find the Script Book in five months when the film comes out. So whether you want to read it before or after, buying it now is wise.

...

An extremely good review for the Stardust play from the Chicago Sun Times at http://www.suntimes.com/output/theater/cst-ftr-star17.html. I'd love to see it, but later in the run, when they've settled into it and the prospect of a rogue author in the audience is less likely to make anyone drop something.

a miscellany...

Let's see...

There's a "raw" review of the Chicago Stardust over at http://wayoffloop.blogspot.com/. The show looks interesting. The review was, overall, positive, but there's a line in there "My theatre-going companion complained that too many things were played as funny. I partially agree - I think it all would have been more effective and funnier if everyone had taken their fairy tale problems more seriously," which reminded me a little of the reading of Chivalry on the Symphony Space audio, where I wanted to take the reader aside and suggest that if she did Sir Galaad completely straight (rather than "big" and comedic), it would have been funnier and work better.

It's like the one directorial piece of advice one wants to give actors is "Er, you know that thing you do...? Well, don't do that." And of course, it's a useless piece of advice, just as the single worst piece of editorial advice I ever got was "er... well, it's not as good as I was hoping it would be. Can you make it better?"

Was sent a link to http://www.bstv.tv/ which amused me enormously, but left me with no particular desire to see a whole TV show based on parodic reality TV concepts (given that my reaction to reading about any new reality TV show is normally a "they have got to be joking" anyway).

...

I'm not really a proper foodie, not like, well, DocBrite (who recently emailed me to let me know that we're going to be eating at The Flower Drum in Melbourne in July, and when Poppy tells me to go and eat with her I always do, because it will always produce a) amazing food and b) an anecdote that nobody else will believe when you tell them), but I was fascinated by this article on the top fifty things foodies should do, which range from the interesting to the "er, no, I don't actually think so".
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/foodmonthly/story/0,9950,1481375,00.html


Hi Neil,
Just a quick question. I am reading Good Omens and was wondering what "cor" meant and if it is a British word. I take it to be slang and along the lines of "Damn" but just wanted to be sure. Thanks for any clarification you can give. I did do a search first on your website and while I did find cor references, there was no explanation of the word. Thanks, Barry

Remember, Google is your friend. I googled "Cor Slang" and came up with
http://www.effingpot.com/slang.shtml and then found a British-American online dictionary at http://www.davidappleyard.com/english/vc.htm where you will learn that the American for "Cor" is "Goodness". (Bizarrely, in the 13 years I've been in America, I've not yet heard anyone use "goodness", as an exclamation.) It's used as an expression of pleased astonishment, or at least it was when I was a boy.

Which reminds me,

..Is the aforementioned night gown black too or is it white or some shade of baby blue/pink well complimented with a cap too? :P (Get better soon!) Steph

Thank you, and I hope I shall. But it was "dressing gown", not "night gown". Which is, probably rather disappointingly, just English for "bath robe" (http://www.davidappleyard.com/english/vd.htm)

Hi Neil,

So now you've mentioned "ShockHeaded Peter" and "The Wolves in the Walls" opera and a stage adaptation of "Stardust" in the past two weeks, and I have to ask again: Have you ever written anything specifically for the stage? And if not, do you think you'll ever? What do you think it'd be like?

(I know some of your stories have been adapted for the stage, though I'm not sure which.)

And for your readers in Canada (or, I suppose, anywhere that Chapters will ship)(or, I suppose again, anyone who couldn't afford "Wolves in the Walls" for whatever reason): "Wolves in the Walls" has gone on some sort of super-sale on the Chapters/Indigo website: (Here's the link.)

I wish this had happened sooner. I would've saved enough money to buy another Sandman trade.

And thanks for doing all your writing stuff. It's a boost to the imagination to see someone using their imagination so well in their stories.

Cheers,
Greg Carere

I'm writing a play in my spare time. I've been writing it for a couple of years. I'm only on page nine, mostly due to an acute shortage of free time, so do not hold your breath.

The Blue Tit Post

Today, I found myself with an evil painfully scratchy throat and a deep desire not to get up, so I spent the day in my dressing gown and had chicken soup and lemon-and-honey-drinks.

This meant I failed to be properly excited when our visiting bird chick (setting up feederside cameras and so on) caught sight of an English bird that shouldn't have been there at our garden feeders. She was videoing at the time, so was able to prove she didn't imagine it, and was amazed and thrilled and excited. Then she made a few phone calls and discovered that someone in the midwest seems to be breeding them and letting them go, which makes it less likely that the bird in question had been blown across the Atlantic and then had hitchhiked its way to the midwest, and that it may not be counted on the mysterious birding league tables they keep. But it was obviously still one of the coolest things that had happened to her in ages, and I was not properly impressed. At least she had a husband there to react properly.

(Besides feeling a bit under the weather, I also found it hard to get excited about a bird I saw outside my window every day of my life growing up, that's just in the wrong place, and is probably just puzzling about where to find a decent cup of tea, or, more probably, half a coconut.)

In response to "I took the Which SF Writer are You? test at http://paulkienitz.net/skiffy.html -- and was delighted to learn that I am apparently Chip Delany. Who knew?"Well, you knew in 2002 when you took the test!: http://www.neilgaiman.com/journal/2002/12/httpgning.asp
At least you're consistant!

Anyway, the question for this email:
Stardust and American Gods have "Brainstorming" editions listed on amazon. What are they? http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1594970998


Well, as senility begins its slow stranglehold (or possibly I've just been blogging too long) at least I can answer your question. I googled Public Square books, and learned from this press release (http://www.publicsquarebooks.com/PressRelease3.html) that the Brainstorming editions are Spanish Language editions of the books (the Norma Editorial editions) sold into the US.

You'd think that AMAZON or whoever would list them as Spanish language editions, and I expect eventually, they will.

More on Which SF Writer Are You at Making Light -- and a late edit to add:

You've probably heard this from several sources already, but in case you didn't -- I went to take the "Which SF Author Are You" quiz, and apparently Paul has had so many hits he's exceeded his bandwidth and the quiz is down until next month. Bummer.

...

Good luck on opening night to all at the Griffin Theatre production of Stardust (break many legs). The first review I got said,

Neil,

We just saw the Griffin production of "Stardust" in Chicago and wanted to let you know that it's quite well done and a lot of fun. They're suprisingly true to your story. It's a small and intimate space and the production values are quite high. Best of luck with your current projects. We're really looking forward to both "Anansi Boys" and "Mirror Mask".

Best Wishes, Hannah and Amy

Which looks promising. Thank you both.

...

Somebody wrote in suggesting that I should write a short story that I could place in the public domain for people to make films of. I can see a few problems with this --primarily that "We Can Get Them For You Wholesale..." wasn't created to be something that starting out film makers looked at and went "Look, a small cast, two real speaking parts, limited locations, and a solid three act structure in a fifteen minute shape. What a great thing story to try and tell." It just happened that way. I have no idea how it happened, and doubt I could do it intentionally. Things like that -- or to take a possibly more apt example, things like JOHNNY THEREMIN (http://www.johnnytheremin.net/index2.html) -- happen best when you don't set out to make them happen.

Several people wrote to point out various copyright difficulties with the idea of putting out a DVD of different versions of "We Can Get Them For You Wholesale..." and one person wrote with an offer to publish such a DVD. My guess is that if it happened it probably ought to be an all proceeds from this to charity sort of thing, because any other way of doing it would probably lead to lawsuit hell.

Lots of tabs to close so...

Emperor Norton has got onto a coin -- http://www.gaydollarsf.com/

Bob Sheckley's condition is improving (hurrah) -- http://locusmag.blogspot.com/2005/05/impending-news.html#comments

If you accidentally run your iPod through a washing machine, do not try to fix it with a screwdriver, or it may explode (or at least "go pop"). (News story here.) Actually, lots of do nots showing up, like do not wear a dress to your prom, and, if you're from the UK, do not make miserabilist movies.

And now I shall go back to bed (well, I'm typing this in bed, but you know what I mean) leaving you with only some photographs of an abandoned amusement park...

O HELL

Today was a good day for everything that wasn't mechanical, and doomed for everything that was.

For example, a new DVD recorder arrived. It has a friendly HELLO message on the screen when you turn it on, which is nice. What's not so nice is that it doesn't see any input of any kind, plays a prerecorded DVD about one time in five, and resets itself randomly even then. HELLO, it says instead of PLAY, and then the clock starts again at 1:00 and mostly it stops working completely. HELLO.

And that was only one of several small electric wossnames that, as soon as I touched them, decided that they really weren't cut out for working.

...

Collectors of Lisa Snellings' author rats will be delighted to hear that Harlan Ellison (as Zorro) joins Poe, Lovecraft, and some other author in the set. There's a picture of the Gang of Four here.) (And Lisa's rat-shop is here, but Harlan's not up there yet.)

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You may remember that I finished a story called SUNBIRD last November, which was Holly's slightly late 18th birthday present (given that she was already 19 and a half). It'll be out toward the end of this year in a book that's called (deep breath)...

A Book of Evil Marauders, Purple Blobs, and Some Other Things That Aren't as Scary, Maybe, Depending on How You Feel About Lost Lands, Stray Cellphones, Creatures from the Sky, Parents Who Disappear in Peru, a Man Named Lars Farf, and Three Other Stories We Couldn't Quite Finish, So Maybe You Could Help Us Out. (Here's a link to the cover.) It's edited (and published by) the editors of McSweeney's and will be raising money for a good thing.

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I took the Which SF Writer are You? test at http://paulkienitz.net/skiffy.html -- and was delighted to learn that I am apparently Chip Delany. Who knew?

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I'm going to be the Master of Ceremonies at this year's Audie Awards, which should be fun.

The Audie Awards are given for Audio Books, and they're running a "Pick the Winner" contest -- Everyone who enters the contest will be eligible to win the Grand prize of a complete collection of the 2005 Audie Winners or 5 Runner-Up Prizes of a gift subscription plus $50 worth of audiobooks. http://www.audiofilemagazine.com/audie_contest_05.html

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Lots of really nice messages following on from yesterday's post about Peter Beagle. Here's a small selection:

Hi Neil,Just wanted to let you know that I followed your link to Conlan Press for The Last Unicorn audio book and while there had a question about the ordering process and so called intending to leave a message (I'm on Eastern time, they're on Pacific, so it was about 6:30am there), but instead got a real live person who turned out to be Connor Cochran, President of Conlan Press himself. Mr. Cochran was informative, intelligent, and a complete delight. He talked to me about books I knew and several that I did not and even did a bit of reading for me of some of his favorite Peter S. Beagle selections. I came away from our conversation feeling inspired about reading, and especially about Peter S. Beagle and his works. He also told me that their little publishing company was taking about 20 orders per week and, thanks to you they've had several hundred orders since yesterday. So thanks for the link, the info, and all that you do.-Stephanie Benson Hampden, Maine


and

Just had to write when I saw that Peter S. Beagle was your gateway to Tolkien. He wrote a book called "I See By My Outfit," about a trip he and a friend took through the American Southwest. He kept stopping at Indian jewelry stands looking for "the one ring." As soon as I finished his book, I headed for the fiction section of the library and found Volume 1 of "Lord of the Rings." This was sometime in the early sixties--maybe 1962 or 1963. Thanks to Beagle, I got in on the Tolkien craze relatively early.


I noticed they had "I See By My Outfit" at the http://www.conlanpress.com/html/books.html site, and it's a book I've always wanted to read.

Neil,Thanks for the heads up about the Peter S. Beagle book. I too stumbled onto him as a child, wandering around Lake Tahoe on a vacation with my parents. In a small, quaint, they-don't-make-em'-like-that-anymore bookstore I came across "The Fantasy Worlds of Peter S. Beagle. It not only turned me into a serious reader for life, it made me want to be a writer as well.Beagle is one of those writers who escapes your memory when asked "who are your influences?", but immediatly brings a smile to your face when someone else brings him up. Thanks again for the info, and the smile.-Steve Gomez

That was exactly my thought. I almost never mention Beagle in a list of influences, but I know that Matthew the Raven was a descendant of the raven in A Fine and Private Place, and that the Death in "Come, Lady Death" was definitely somewhere in the back of my mind when I decided that Death had to be a girl...

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And a few short ones to conclude with:

Stardust: Why could Madame Semele not see Yvaine? Did I miss anything?

Yes, I'm afraid so. You might want to reread the scene between Madame Semele and the witch-queen again.

(Incidentally, there will be a play of Stardust in Chicago over the next month -- details at http://www.suntimes.com/output/theater/wkp-news-call13north.html). I hope it's good.

Let's end this foolishness once and for all: When is "MirrorMask" being released for the general public to experience?

Isn't "let's end this foolishness once and for all" the sort of thing you're meant to say while hefting a rather large sword? Well, in previous blog entries (like this http://www.neilgaiman.com/journal/2005/04/thats-all-he-wrote.asp) I said that as far as I know it'll be released in the US in September. As far as I know, it'll still be released in September. There. I hope this ends this foolishness. Er, once and for all.

If you can't wait (or if you like Dave McKean art, or if you want a peek backstage) you should check out the MirrorMask book -- http://www.neilgaiman.com/books/mirrormask_hc.asp for details. And that is out now.)
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A terse one in from, I would hazard, someone in Perth (the one in Western Australia, rather than the one in Scotland).

WHY AREN'T YOU COMING TO PERTH YOU C***?

Er, because the Australian divisions of my publishers picked where I'd go, and they didn't pick Perth.

If it's any consolation, the last time I went to a convention on the Australian mainland it was to go to a Swancon in Perth. And I flew in to Perth, went to the con, then took the four hour flight straight to Sydney to catch a plane home -- where I found myself having to convince an immigration official that I had, of my own free will, flown all the way to Australia in order to spend four days in Perth. This was, I was given to understand, the strangest and most suspicious sort of thing that that particular gentleman had ever encountered...

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Finally, Karawynn Long sent me a link to a poem by Margaret Atwood about blurbs, and giving them. I may have disagreed with Ms A about remote-controlled signing machines, but I rather agree with her about blurbworld... http://www.web.net/owtoad/blurbs.html