So I got home yesterday at sunrise. Slept all day. Was up all night but not good for much. (This is what sunrise looks like when you get close to my house.)
Today I slept until early afternoon. Then got up and walked the dog. I got very used to using the camera as a diary while I was in China (as a back up for a notebook, and sometimes a substitute), so took the camera along on the walk.
G. K Chesterton observed that one of the best things about being away is that you get to see what you come back to with different eyes.
Found myself amazed by the size of my house, for example. There are a lot of people in China, and they live, on the whole, in much smaller places than mine. (Actually, that's probably true of most of the world: it takes a certain idiocy to want to live in an Addams Family House in the first place). But having, over the last month, met a number of families in which several generations lived in one apartment, spread over -- or squeezed into -- a couple of rooms, it seems really strange to have so much space.
I saw many vegetables growing, pumpkins even, while I was in China, where I also learned that pumpkin vine tips make a great stir-fry-vegetable (if you peel off the fuzzy stuff first). And was happy to see that I had a few pumpkins in my garden. Not many, but enough.
Was pleased to observe, on my walk, that the falling-down barn has not yet fallen down.
Astonished and delighted to see blackberries. I planted the one blackberry bush about five years ago, and people would always decide it was a weed and mow it or cut it. Finally, earlier this year, we put big metal rods up to persuade people not to mow over it, and now I'm home and, gosh, blackberries. Not as nice as the ones in my grandma's back garden, when I was a boy, mind.
Also a grape-trellis covered with grapes. Really yummy ones.
Lorraine tells me that Cabal was depressed while I was away, and he went off his food and moped. He's been extremely happy since I've been back. I have not the heart to tell him I'm going off on tour soon. (Maddy knows, but she assures me that as manager of the volleyball team she will probably not have time to really miss me. She is probably just telling me this to make me feel better.) (I just read that to her and she says, "Say 'PS Maddy will totally miss me', so they don't get any wrong ideas.")
A tree in front of my writing gazebo has been cut down, I notice. It was a sapling when the gazebo was built, but had grown and was cutting off the light.
Brightly coloured fungus on the side of trees. Tomorrow, when I walk, I may look for giant puffballs in the woods, but without enthusiasm, as they are my least favourite of the edible mushrooms. (Which reminds me -- when I was in China I was fed something called both Bamboo Pith and Bamboo Fungus, also known, less appetisingly, as the Stinkhorn. I googled and wound up learning all about the unexpected but, for ladies at least, gratifying qualities of the fresh stinkhorn. Dried and reconstituted with bamboo shoots, it would not have the same effect.)
And also, while I was gone, the remarkable Hans put in an electric fence. There have been more and more sightings of bears in this region, and we've been assured that an electric fence will keep bears out of the beehives, as long as the bears don't get to them in the first place. (Which is to say, if you have a beehive and a bear gets into it and then you put up an electric fence, the bear will cheerfully go through the fence to get to the honey.)
And because, not unreasonably, the last time I posted dog photos, many people asked for pictures of cats, and because I don't think Coconut (who was, long ago, Maddy's kitten) has ever been photographed in this blog, here are Princess (sitting) and Coconut, in the front hall, where the dog is not allowed to go.
I went to the Humane Society today and picked up their list of Things They Need, and gave it to Lorraine. She went out and bought bleach and cat food and peanut butter and so on, then went up to the Humane Society to drop the stuff off.
She returned much later carrying a cardboard box containing a calico kitten with whom she had fallen in love, and was last seen taking the kitten home to introduce to her Bengals. This is Princess glaring at the calico kitten...
And this is Lorraine's new kitten, puffed up and halloweeny in order to persuade everyone that she is in fact a very big cat indeed.
Nobody asked me to do it, but then, when Douglas asked me if I'd like to adapt Life, The Universe and Everything for radio I said no, and that was with Douglas alive and asking. (Dirk Maggs did it, and did an excellent job.) It seemed a thankless task.
I like Eoin very much, and wish him well with the book. He'll probably write a sixth Hitchhiker's book with more enthusiasm, and certainly faster, than Douglas would have done. But it won't be a Douglas Adams Hitchhiker's book.
For the record, if I don't get around to writing a sequel to something while I'm alive, I'd very much rather that nobody else does it once I'm dead. It should exist in your head or in Lucien's library, or in fanfic. But that's me, and not every author feels the same way.
Hello Neil,
This is almost a dangerous question to ask you, because it is about something John Byrne has said. But as a large proponent of libraries, I was curious as to your thoughts on something he recently stated regarding trade paperbacks in libraries: "Ever since I started writing for a living, I have found myself viewing libraries somewhat differently than once I did. I think we are all in agreement that libraries are A Good Thing -- but are they A Good Thing right across the board? When we have niche products like comics, is it really a good idea for them to be available in libraries?"
I don't think it's a dangerous question, and it has a remarkably easy and straighforward answer, which is, Yes, it's a very good idea for them to be in libraries.
Hello Neil,
First off, I hope this email finds you well.
I've planned to attend the Library of Congress book festival and just wanted to know if there are any general rules of etiquette for your signings.
Is there a book limit for signing?
Can a say a few words about how much I enjoy your work in person? I promise it won't last longer than 15 nervous seconds.
Most importantly, how early should I arrive before the likely rush of other frothing fans?
These questions constantly roll in my mind. I'd hate to add extra weariness to a likely hot, humid, noisy,(yet still awesome) festival.
Thanks for coming to the southeast!
Sincerely, Dan
The book limit will depend on how many people there are, and how many people I can get through in the time I've got. It'll be announced at the signing, but it won't be more than three books, and it may well be only one.
And of course you can talk to me. Most people seem to use the signing line as an opportunity to say thank you, and most authors are pleased to hear that they've made a difference, or just to be thanked. We like it if you say hello, honest.
How early you should get there? I don't know. Each time I've signed at the LoC Book Festival it's been different. According to the website this time it's:
Teens & Children Pavilion
11:45-12:15 pm (This is a short reading from The Graveyard Book, and a Q&A).
Book Signing
1-3 pm (and it'll probably go longer if they don't need the space, but may be cut off if they don't have anywhere to move it to, or have something else planned for me at 3.00pm).
We may wind up with people who would like to be at the reading/Q&A who skip it in order to be early in the signing line. But that's if the book festival has actually told people where to line up for the signing, which they may or may not do.
Last time people were in the signing line before dawn. I don't think that would work this time, as I'm not doing a morning signing. So we'll see.
Hey Neil, I would love to know what time the Columbia University reading is taking place on September 30th. I am very excited t go but don't know what time to arrive. Thanks.
I see in "Where's Neil" that you'll be doing a signing in New York City and Philadelphia. With New Jersey right in between, why not a stop here?
Because the people who aren't on the East Coast, some of whom are travelling hundreds of miles to get to the readings, would rise up as one person in their anger at the unfairness of it all, and destroy New Jersey in their rage. Which would be sad, because there are lots of bits of New Jersey that are actually quite nice.
When Sarah Palin was mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, she (allegedly) attempted to get books she didn't approve of out of the public library. This is scary. Are free speech organizations like the CBLDF and the First Amendment Project going to take this issue on?
What you fight is specifics: bad laws, bad arrests and the like. People trying to ban books and comics and people trying to stop other people selling or publishing or creating comics and books and suchlike.
You don't fight "alleged attempts to get books out of a public library" ten years ago. To "take this issue on" I suspect would consist, Father Ted-like, of people walking around Sarah Palin with placards saying "Down with This sort of Thing" and "Careful Now", which would probably not result in increased freedom of speech. Although it might be funny.
Hi Neil! This Andrew Drilon (I was the creator "Lines and Spaces", the Alex Niño tribute comic which won the Philippine Graphic/Fiction Award last year). I've been making lots of short comics since then, under the banner title Kare-Kare Komiks, and they've gotten nice comments from people like Emma Bull and Warren Ellis, so I thought you might be interested:
Anyway, I'll be posting "Lines and Spaces" there tomorrow, for those who are planning to enter the contest this year (the deadline's at the end of the month), and I'm hoping you can help spread the word.
Long day. Everything that has to be signed is signed, every telephone interview is done. Conference calls etc all dealt with. And at the end of a long working day, I now need to start writing. It's meant to be more fun than this, but I'm up against the wall on a research trip, and time is declining to be stretchy in the way I want it to (40 hour days.... 19 day weeks....)
I failed to go with daughter Holly on her Chicago road trip as well. Which would have been fun.
It looks there will be good news for all the people who have paid for Neverwheres from Hill House (or anything overdue from Hill House). I'll have more concrete information very soon.
And anyone who is waiting for a refund on the cancelled Tulsa Event, Mammoth Comics will be making sure the refunds happen -- apologies: I think absolutely everyone who could have screwed up on this one did, in a sort of Perfect Storm of screwedupness. But things should sort now. And guilt, if nothing else, will bring me to Tulsa sooner rather than later.
I hate to be nosy, but did you take Zoe to the vet? Blindness in aged cats is most commonly caused by hypertension (high blood pressure, as I am sure you knew). This condition can be secondary to kidney failure or dysfunction or hyperthyroidism. We do not see primary hypertension in cats generally. The second most common cause would be retinal atrophy, but it is much less common. Unfortunately, with neither disease is the blindness reversible, but if Zoe has an underlying disease, her well-being could be improved by treating it.
Thanks for allowing me to give unasked for advice, but I find that often my patients owners don't realize that disease in one area can cause a more obvious sign in another.
Sorry if you knew all this stuff already.
Shera a kitty vet (and huge fan)
I put this up because I thought it might be useful for other people as well. Yes, we took her to the vet today, who established that, yes, she is indeed blind. And is currently doing a whole set of tests on her. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for her. She's an astoundingly sweet-natured cat, who we've had since she was a barn-kitten: she fell downstairs when she was younger, and had her hip screwed together -- she's never been as active since. But she likes to be loved more than any cat I've known.(Worries.)
[later] She's back from the vet. It was indeed high blood pressure. They're trying to decide whether she needs medication. (She was hugely overweight when we got her back, and we put her on a long diet, so she's now at normal weight, which may help anyway.)
Cloned Dog Owner Manacled Mormon for Sex is possibly my favourite headline ever. It's on the Guardian front page, today. (The story, although with a different lead line, is up at http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/aug/08/usa)
This is happiness. From the BBC and Jamie Hewlett (and his Zombie Flesh Eaters team) and Damon Albarn, present: Monkey, Sandy, Pigsy journey to the Olympics... (if it doesn't work, check at http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/olympics/monkey/7521287.stm)
I discovered tonight -- was heartbroken to realise -- that Zoe the cat who lives in the attic (my cat to begin with, but these days am really just looking after her until she can be reunited with her person, currently overseas) is totally blind: she was navigating entirely by memory and whiskers (I was writing up in the attic, in the house's Tower Room, which I've just turned into an internet-free, phone free, writing den).
I adore Zoe, but am terribly allergic to her.
Normally this is not a problem -- I simply wash my hands after stroking her... but when you realise your cat is blind you go and pick her catnip from the garden and then you put her in your lap while you write and you stroke her and let her rub herself all over you... and now I have to stop writing to have a bath, because my eyes are swollen and red and almost too itchy to see out of.Sigh.
Hey Neil, I was at Amanda Palmer's (fantastic & glorious) concert in San Francisco last night, and she performed "I Google You". I know you already posted a video of it, but... here's another, & of somewhat better quality. It can be seen on YouTube, if you so desire: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QEQaJXU1mA
yrs., Molly
That's more like it. You can see Amanda, and you can hear the song both at the same time...
Meanwhile, the remarkable Peri Lyons (for whom I actually wrote the song) (not because I was Googling her late at night, but because she asked me last December to write a song for her one-woman show) will be doing the aforementioned show in New York (The Metropolitan Room: 34 West 22nd St Betw. 5th & 6th Ave. - New York, NY 10010) later this month -- details at The Metropolitan Room Website, here.
I'm going to keep posting links like this. The Graveyard Book is, I think, my favourite of all the things I've done, and I'm proud of it, and it makes me happy when other people like it too.
...
Dear Neil,
I am so incredibly excited about the Vegas event in November since you always seem to bypass Nevada completely, but I was wondering if you're also doing a signing for the festival. If not, I'll have to content myself with ordering signed copies of things instead. It's vitally important for this question to be answered, you see, because if the event is a signing I am going to have to go out and buy a hardcover copy of one of your books so I'm not embarrassed by my [extremely] careworn paperbacks.
Many thanks, Hannah St. John
I'm sure there will be a signing there, yes. But you don't have to worry: you may be embarrassed by old, well-read paperbacks, but I'll be flattered.
My assistant, the Fabulous Lorraine, is fostering two Bengal cats, and says they're really ready to go to someone who'll love them. They were sad, scared things when she got them, and they've really turned from sad cats into rather wonderful things. She says it's time for them to find a good home because she's going to get attached to them otherwise (and she already has two Bengal cats, so risks turning into a mad cat lady if nice people don't come and adopt them). Their names are Sabrina and Ginger and they come as a pair. If you're interested, head over to Lorraine's blog.
Hi Neil. This past weekend I tried to introduce my girlfriend to sushi. It didn't go so well. She did try, and put on her best game face, for this I can only appreciate her more. Unfortunately the sushi wasn't as fresh as it could be and was over-wasabied. She is willing to try one more time (did I mention my appreciation and acknowledge my luck?) We will be driving from Des Moines to Minneapolis so I thought I would see if you had any favorite area sushi bars. Thanks.
The rule for any new thing is try the best you can find. Always. There are people who have eaten supermarket sushi, and cannot understand why anyone would want to eat rubbery, fishy, possibly slightly slimy, chilled fish on dried-out cold rice-pudding for pleasure, and think that's what sushi is. Whether it's Sushi or anything new, try the best. That way, if you don't like it, you know you don't like it, rather than a sad shadow of the thing it could be.
There are lots of solid sushi places in Minneapolis -- I really like Sakura in St Paul, as much for the people who run it as for the (mostly very good) food. Origami can be nice, so can the two Fuji-Yas. Kikagawa's okay. Other people swear by (or at) some of the others. About five years ago I wrote on this journal, in reply to a similar question that,
“To be honest, Minneapolis sushi is much of a muchness. There's nothing that's outstanding, like a Nobu, and nothing I've had so far that's been dreadful (apart from Fuji Ya when they first put sushi on their menu, about eight years ago, but they soon got the hang of it). I tend to go to Sakura in St. Paul, because Miyoko and her staff treat me like family, and the food's good.”
I was about to opine that this was because we were a long way from the sea, then I remembered that Katsu in Chicago is one of the best sushi restaurants in the world, and it's just as far from the sea as Minneapolis.
Hi Neil.
I don't think I've seen you mention this before: With the renewed interest in "Watchmen" of late, I was wondering about the 'special thanks' you received in the collected edition.
What kind of contribution did you make? Or was it just for being such a nice guy? ;)
Thanks
Robin
I thought I must have answered this here, but googled it and couldn't find anything. However I did find this interview by Brian Hibbs up at the Dreaming. (Well, in The Dreaming's google cache -- it's just been redesigned and relaunched hurrah!, and I think a few links may be broken.)
I remember Alan ringing me up when he was writing Watchmen #3, and said, "Neil, you're an educated bloke. Where does the quote `Shall not the judge of all the earth do right?' come from? I think someone said it when they were dying, but I don't know when."
I went out, and found it for him, rang him back, and said, "No. It's Genesis. God threatening to nuke Sodom and Gomorrah." He said, "Thanks", then went off.He rang me back a few months later and said, "Neil, I haven't any quotes for the titles of #7 and #8. This is what happens in them, go find me a quote." So I went off and got him "Brother to dragons, and companion to owls..." from Job for #7, and the poem for #8, Eleanor Farjeon's "Hallowe'en". "On Hallowe'en the old ghosts come."Also, while I was researching the Old Testament stuff, I was working my way through a huge Biblical concordance, getting various details. It fell open to a page on obscure history, and the name Rameses jumped out at me. I discovered this quote that said, roughly, "I've killed all these places, and left the widows weeping there. Everything is at peace, and everything is great in the world." So I rang up Alan, and said, "What do you think of this?" He said "Great! I'll stick it in #12" So you've got Ozymandias quoting Rameses in Watchmen. (ED: #12, Pg. 20)
Which is pretty much it -- I also lent Alan the bird-book from which he got the quotes on owls that Daniel Drieberg uses in the back of Watchmen 7,
(It was really interesting reading a nineteen-year-old interview with myself. Or someone a lot like me, anyway. Cocky little bugger, wasn't I?)
I was recently reading a recent Fantagraphics Peanuts collection, and slowly realised that I'd read (and re-read and puzzled over) all of the Sunday strips as a very small boy. I had a book called Sunday's Fun Day Charlie Brown and never understood the title until a few weeks ago.
And finally, a lovely video interview with Tori about the Comic Book Tattoo project, and her own history with comics and plans for the future.
I just went to the movies by myself for, I think, the first time in my life (if you don't count the years I spent in the 80s as a film critic), to see Hot Fuzz. (Nobody else wanted to go but me.) Which I loved, didn't think was too long, and wish it wasn't only showing in one small cinema in a 50 mile radius of my house. The delight in making it came through all the way.
Hi, Earlier this year you posted link to a podcast by Penn Jillette in which he mentions you and National Gorilla Suit day. I think that the podcast is no longer accessible. If it is, can you point me to the right place? I wanted my husband to hear it.
Hi Neil! As I'm more of a cat person, I 'feel' for your cats! Are they jealous of your new dog? ~ Cancan =)
Jealous? No. Princess is alternately furious with me and desperately affectionate, Coconut (Maddy's cat) is mostly blase but also a bit more affectionate, and Fred is plotting on ways to get revenge on the dog for having treed him yesterday evening. It's the kind of thing I could be really funny about, but the truth is it's rather worrying -- the dog is convinced he needs to protect us from Fred, and has only actually barked twice since we got him, each time inside the house to warn us that Fred was walking around outside and might get us if Dog didn't protect us,meanwhile Fred on seeing the Dog arches his back like a Halloween card cat, swells to twice his size and makes strangled yowling noises to indicate his extreme displeasure. As far as the two mostly-house cats go, I think we'll be fine at getting them more or less to tolerate each other. Fred, however is a law unto himself, and it's going to be interesting.
Not sure about that tagline. Hope they can come up with something sharper before August. (My own suggestion, "Stardust. It's not a sequel to anything," was appreciated but, probably wisely, rejected.)
Fred the cat tends to get into scrapes while I'm away, and I arrived home yesterday to find him with half of his face shaved and on antibiotics, having tangled with something. Whenever he gets into fights he gets infected. Tonight he's staying with the vet as the infection got worse.
I ought to be very worried, but I'm not. I suppose by now I think he'll pull through because he always pulls through. He must be on life 15 or 16 by now: last year when I was on tour with Fragile Things, I was called about a minute before the Google Author Talk and informed that Fred had to be put down (which left me pretty shaken), but it didn't happen. He got through that, just as he gets through everything else.
Some animals are survivors.
Maddy's largest goldfish is called Moonbeam, and he's about nine years old, and has outlived every other goldfish we've ever had, and even survived an accidental case of poisoning about five years ago that killed off everyone else. He's now about a foot long. And there were five fish in that tank two weeks ago. The two smaller ones have now mysteriously gone, and Moonbeam looks astonishingly well-fed and happy, and I suspect that I need to rethink the whole Where The Goldfish Are situation.
I recorded the previously unrecorded tracks from M Is For Magic today in Minneapolis. Very different stories -- it was fun recording them though. Two from when I was very young ("How to Sell the Ponti Bridge" and "The Case of the Four And Twenty Blackbirds"), one from about Ten Years Ago ("Don't Ask Jack", which I couldn't believe I hadn't already recorded. You can see Jack here) and one story from when I was older ("The Witch's Headstone" now just out in WIZARDS:Magical Tales From the Masters of Modern Fantasy).
Like all audio recording it was fun, and then it got harder, and then I walked away quite braindead. I don't know anything else that's quite so exhausting in the same way. Still, I love doing the audiobooks. (And I just realised we need to update the information at http://www.neilgaiman.com/works/audio/)
On the way home from the recording, driving through the rain, just as I pulled off the freeway to head home, I saw a large, pale dog on the side of the sliproad. I went in a couple of seconds from a first glance thought of "Oh, he's just wandering around and knows exactly what he's doing," to, on a second glance, "He's absolutely terrified and if he isn't actually lost he's really scared of all the cars and in danger of bolting onto the freeway," .
I pulled over, crossed the road and hurried across to where he was. He backed away, skittish and nervous, then came over to me, shaking. No collar or information, just a choke chain. And big. And very wet and very muddy. With cars going past, I decided the wisest thing to do was to put him into my car while I figured out what to do. The car was the Mini. I opened the door and he clambered in. The dog took up most of the Mini that I wasn't in and a fair amount of the Mini that I was in. Big dog, small car.
I phoned my assistant Lorraine, and asked her to let the local Humane Society (really nice people with a no kill policy) know we'd be coming in soon with a dog, then I drove home, narrowly avoiding death on the way (it's amazing how much you can't see when a huge dog fills the car and your field of vision). I ran around the garden with Dog until he'd tired me out. (I really hope he'd just got lost, and his family are looking for him; it would be hard to imagine someone abandoning a dog that cool.) Then I put him into the back of a car much bigger than the Mini and took him to the Humane Society, where they fawned all over him. ("I think he's a husky-wolf cross," said the Humane lady who took him, and she could be right.)
1) Furball the cat is just fine. She turned out to have been asleep under my bed, and will be professionally shaved on Monday. Thank you for asking.
2) The second half of SNOW GLASS APPLES will go up on scifi.com on the 7th of June.
3) Today's mail brought the new paperback edition of Smoke and Mirrors, my short story collection. Which means it will turn up in the shops any time now.
4) Today also brought the audio book of American Gods. I started listening to it, as a quality check, and was swept up into it. George Guidal, who is one of the top people, if not the top person, in the world of audio books, reads it. it's a wonderful little package of about 14 cassettes. (The CD version will be out for the end of the year.) Harper Audio should be pleased with themselves. I'm thrilled... it's unabridged, and it made me very happy. It's not cheap, but I think I'll send some out as Xmas prezzies this year.
Now playing: I Am Kloot's "Natural History". Good band, but I keep thinking of John Clute, the preeminent SF critic, and wondering whether they're fans...
So I learned today that Chris Ewen, who is half of the Future Bible Heroes among many other things, has decided to make up for the fact that Boston is shamefully and scabbily mistreated on the upcoming signing tour (viz. by me not going there) by holding a shindig. Said shindig will be at the Man Ray club (http://www.manrayclub.com/) -- click on Special Events: it's for Over 21s. "Come dressed as your favourite Neil Gaiman character or god and enter our costume contest to win fantastic prizes". "Fetish or Costume attire only"
They'll have books on sale there (and we'll try and make sure they have signed books for sale), and so all the Boston readers (who are over the age of 21 and willing to dress up) can get together and have a good time. (Probably have a better time than you'd have had in a long line waiting for me.)
I think it's a wonderful idea. If there's anyone else out there who wants to hold a "The bastard isn't coming to [Anchorage/KansasCity/Orlando/NewOrleans etc] -- but we're going to have a party anyway" event, drop a line to Jack Womack at jack.womack@harpercollins.com, and we'll try and help (and list it in this journal). Those of you in Helsinki, Hobart, Hong Kong and other such places who want to get together and party (or even just designate a pub for an American Gods get-together) should also contact Jack. If there's enough of you, we'll make a page for you here and at the forthcoming neilgaiman.com...
...
Often people come to me and say "As a bestselling author, with many published works to your name, and a basement full of awards, most of them in need of a good polish, you must have some words of advice for the world that you wish to share."
And I do.
It's this.
If you have a 25lb long-haired calico cat whose fur is all matted into evil dreadlocks, and who is too fat to properly clean herself, do not put fresh batteries into an ancient beard-trimmer and attempt to shave her. You will only cause distress to the cat, and create a mess. There are professionals who will happily do this kind of thing, for a small fee. Leave it to them.
(This has been a public service announcement on behalf of Furball the cat, currently believed to be hiding in the attic in a severely traumatised state.)
